Beyoncé's New Song Sounds the Same Even When Played in 4 Tabs at Once
[There was a video here]
In case you were too busy listening to other Beyoncé songs to notice, a rough version of Beyoncé’s (probable) new single, “Grown Woman,” leaked online Monday.
Inspired by the bold flavors of confidence, maturity, and BEIN’ GROWN that twerk and quake inside every sip of ice cold Pepsi®, the track is reportedly the gifted brainchild of rote hitmakers Timbaland, The-Dream, and Jesus Christ himself. It’s got a lot of handclaps and breakdowns and sound bites and hot flashes. There are even what sound like some steel drums toward the end, when the song suddenly becomes tropical for no reason, which explains why Beyoncé recently had to travel to the Caribbean. (To buy steel drums.)
The most interesting thing about “Grown Woman” though, is this: no matter how many windows you have it playing in simultaneously, overlapping itself, it still sounds about the same. It gets louder, certainly, and if you happen to start one window on an off-beat, the resulting mash-up of deafening pops can sound a little like the spray of a machine gun, but the frenetic energy remains intact.
Try it yourself and play around until you're satisfied. All of a sudden, you're a little mixmaster, churning out phat Beyoncé remixes. Your stage name: The-Nightmare. Your driving mission: to achieve peak Beyoncé.
For optimum results, I suggest opening the song in three windows: in the first, start the song from the hook; in the second, start it from the bridge; in the third, start it from that weird concluding foray into the tropics. You can also cheat by starting it in four windows, in a round, on counts of four.
Then again, you are a GROOOOOOWN WOMAN and can do WHAT-EV-AH YOU WAN’.
[Image via AP]
