Furious bean Justin Bieber was reportedly involved in a ridiculous brawl in the Hamptons over the weekend, and is now under a police investigation to determine whether he instructed his bodyguards to beat up a dummy who threw a small rock in his direction.

There are a lot of hilarious elements to this story. For example: the commotion allegedly started over a white H&M bow tie. A witness told the New York Post that, prior to the scuffle, "Justin was flashing all these girls with his flashlight," but then didn't elaborate on that sentence. Bieber reportedly yelled "Punk bitch!" at the rock thrower pre-rock throwing which is funny because his voice is adorable baby squeak sounds, like a mouse.

But the most hilarious detail is the Post witness' description to the of what happened just after the rock was thrown.

“That’s when Wayne heard someone yell, ‘You done [bleep]ed up now.’ Justin jumped out the sunroof of his car and slid down the car like he was in ‘Die Hard’ . . . He dropped his shirt and threw his hat and wanted to throw hands. His people surrounded Wayne, who was getting punched from all angles.”

Less hilarious is that the rock thrower (Wayne Rennalls, 22) was hospitalized for nasty-sounding injuries (including bruised ribs) and filed an assault claim the next day.

Team Bieber maintains that punk bitch Justin was not involved in the incident.

[Image via Getty]