Blake Lively's Newest Curation Is Artisanal Human Child Inside Herself
The female experiment collaged into existence from God's aspirational Pinterest board, Blake Lively, has reached another milestone on her languid, golden journey toward inevitable death: She is pregnant.
Lively revealed her pregnancy in an autumn and family-themed post on on Preserve, the fancy shopping website it is her life's mission to edit. "Preserve at its core is about family," the post read. "With family on our mind, we looked to the origin of it all—to the women in our lives who are right there, at that special moment; at the creation of family. Today we celebrate them. With food to fill their tummies (as if that needs more filling), presents to soothe their tired (and swollen) soles, toys to warm their baby's souls, projects to provoke them, and decorations to inspire creativity and merriment in all."
"Congratulations to all the expecting mothers out there," it added. And also: "Shop this story."
Beneath this text was posted an array of aurelian and orange-hued photographs: baby clothes strung up on a line near a wooden fence; a pile of apples covered in glitter next to a glass canister of apples covered in glitter; pregnant woman hugging Blake Lively.
The last photo in the set was of Lively alone, in profile, cradling her softly protruding belly. It was taken by her brother, Eric Lively, who appeared in the Disney Channel original series So Weird from seasons 2-3.
Blake Lively's breasts were already enormous to begin with, is the thing.