Pimpin' ain't easy, but pimpin' while commuting from your La Jolla beach house to occasional evening confinement with a friendly roomie in a San Diego penal facility is jelly, according to convicted Ayn Rand interpretationist Dinesh D'Souza in a new bizarre video profile by Vanity Fair.

The piece teases a longer upcoming profile by Evgenia Peretz of the once-relevant Republican provocateur, who pled guilty last year to illegally dumping loads of cash on a joke of a New York conservative candidate with his mistress while he was president of an evangelical Christian college.

One cannot sum up in words the power of the imagery in this piece, so let's just explore said images.

How does D'Souza spend his days before heading into his minimum-security hoosegow?

1. Adjusting his eyewear.

2. Gettin' his Starbucks on.

3. Reminding himself and others of what really matters in life.

4. Duddin' up for the fans.

5. Taking long walks on the beach outside his house.

6. Alone.

7. Getting back to basics.

8. Fightin' the man.

9. Implying there are real criminals in jail, not like him.

Stay strong, D'-bag!

Contact the author at adam@gawker.com.

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