Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the former IMF chief currently employed as an old French pervert, is on trial for pimping and facilitating a global prostitution ring. His testimony so far has been incredible, in that he has said it all with a straight face.

For years, Strauss-Kahn has been fighting the criminal charges, which include aiding and abetting the prostition of seven women, claiming he had no idea money was involved. ("I dare you to distinguish between a prostitute and a naked socialite," his lawyer said in 2011.)

And according to the Times, the once-dignified politician took the stand this week, testifying that the claims concerning his regularly-scheduled orgies have been greatly exaggerated.

"When you read the criminal complaint, you get the impression it was this unbridled activity," Mr. Strauss-Kahn said, "but it was four times a year."

In addition to the twelve orgies spread out over three years, Strauss-Kahn also admitted to referring to women as "equipment" in text messages—lending credence to the rumors that Air France was once forced to staff all-male crews on his flights.

According to the Times, Strauss-Kahn faces up to 10 years in prison and almost $2 million in fines.

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