Photo: AP

It’s hard times for Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder, who oversaw the systematic poisoning of one town and now can’t even drink a clean glass of water or watch a debate without protestors ruining everything. Now he has a federal racketeering lawsuit to contend with as well.

The suit, filed under the RICO Act—the main prosecution vehicle for the mob which, when filed civilly, can yield treble damages—names Snyder, his former chief of staff Dennis Muchmore, the state of Michigan, the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, the Michigan Department of Health and Services, more than a dozen of its employees, the city of Flint and its former mayor, and several private companies involved in evaluating and administering the water system.

The suit alleges the water crisis was the direct result of a budget crisis in Michigan that led officials to switch the water source instead of declaring bankruptcy.

The poisoning of the residents of Flint, Michigan with toxic drinking water did not originate from a toxic water problem. Rather, the poisoning of the residents of Flint originated from a run of the mill city fiscal problem, which could have been safely addressed by invoking time tested, well-honed federal bankruptcy protections for restructuring the debts of municipalities.

However, the State of Michigan and Governor Snyder through their Emergency Managers, did not file bankruptcy petitions for Flint. Instead, they conceived and enacted a wrongful scheme to solve Flint’s fiscal problem by selling Flint residents poisoned drinking water from a new, free water source.

So far Snyder has declined to comment on the suit, though at least two of the private companies named say they merely fulfilled contractual obligations and had nothing to do with the decision to switch water sources.

To win under a civil RICO suit, the plaintiff must prove the defendants committed at least two qualifying crimes within the last four years. Unfortunately for them, an extremely tacky birthday party with a Chanel-themed cake is not one of the enumerated offenses.