GQ's new profile on the Zimmerman family contains a number of startling revelations, but some of the strangest asides come from the family's bizarre view of itself as one big paranoid, Kardashian-esque branding opportunity.

After running up debts hiding out in hotels around the country, the family apparently attempted to monetize their infamous name with a "Z" brand of self-defense products. As explained by George's brother, Robert, who "[learned] a lot from Keeping Up With the Kardashians":

"There's the Z Bar, the Z Rock, and the Z Beam. They're all targeted to women. One is to secure sliding doors. One is to put in the front door. The light is to carry and is designed by George. It has a little alarm—you know, Help me, help me!"

The family's also become quite paranoid—according to GQ, they watched Argo for inspiration, live in a safe house, and utilize code words. They refer to their prodigious gun collection as their "babies" and created their own family color-code threat system.

Code blue: Law enforcement at the door. Code brown: Draw your weapons. Code black: Come out guns blazing.

In the meantime, to make ends meet, George is apparently reconsidering his nascent painting career. According to GQ, "George suggested Anne Frank," as his next subject "because, according to Robert, he identifies with her—but he hasn't gotten around to it yet."

[image via AP]