Ben Stein is a bit of a horndog. He admitted as much in a rambling American Spectator column this month, and now, a former "call girl" who was one of that structureless rant's subjects comes forward to share a few of Ben Stein's sexts.

Tanya Ma (Stein's column refers to her as "Lucia"), a 24-year-old writer and performance artist, told the New York Post that she met the actor and conservative commentator in an airport, and the two struck up a texting relationship. Screencaps of their communications published by Page Six show Ma, who is pregnant, asking for money, and Stein, who is 69 years old and has a silly voice, asking for "touching," "kissing," and "sexy pics."

The following are best appreciated when read in your best "Bueller, Bueller..." voice:

Ma told Page Six she shared the texts because she doesn't "want him to continue to do this to women." She added: "It's much more than sexting, cyber-escorting or being a sugar daddy — it's unhealthy and toxic behavior that needs to be exposed."

Stein is married with grandchildren, though Ma says he told her his wife "knew about everything." He explained himself to Page Six:

"She is a person I have only met for less than five minutes at an airport. I have never touched her, I have never had any sexual contact with her. I should get a medal for helping this woman," Stein said of Ma.

"This is a person who appealed to me for money. She said she would send me some examples of her performance art. Some of those examples were racy, and some were not.

"I just don't get what I have done wrong. She is mad at me because she wanted more money."

Ben Stein continues:

"Here's the real story: Ben Stein has never had any criminal charge or any ethical blemish in his life, she tells him a sob story, he helps her out to the amount of thousands, she said she's going to have a baby and the father of the baby wasn't going to help her out," he said.

Finally, Ben Stein rests Ben Stein's case with the classic it's-never-wrong-to-hug-people defense:

"I didn't expect anything from her. Hugging and kissing doesn't mean I wanted to f–k her. I said that explicitly in my text," Stein said. "When is it wrong to hug people?"

If you or anyone you know has a similar Ben Stein story, feel free to let us know.