Two crust-coveting assholes succumbed to their inner Noids Wednesday night, brutally attacking a man for the crime of having some pizza, Scotland's Daily Record reports.

According to victim Mark Sinclair, he had just picked up a spicy chicken pizza and was returning to his home in Stenhousemuir, Scotland when one of the unidentified assailants attacked him.

"He said, 'Gimme a bit of your pizza,' then started laying into me," Sinclair told the Daily Record.

In an effort to find a witness to the attack, Sinclair shared a gruesome photo of his injuries on Facebook.

"I've had a bad week," wrote Sinclair in his post. "If you know of or hear of anyone bragging about kicking me in the face and neck multiple times [...] please contact the police."

[Images via Facebook/Shutterstock//h/t NY Post]