Here is an interesting story: The New York Times points out today that the January 2015 issue of Vanity Fair contains a reference to a sex tape depicting New York City mayor Bill de Blasio. Let’s look. First, check out the cover:

Zoom in:

As you can see on the left-most billiard ball, the text reads:

ILL
LASIO
EX
APE!

Or:

[B]ILL
[DE B]LASIO
[S]EX
[T]APE!

(The ball’s caption reads: “OFTEN THE TEST of COURAGE is NOT TO DIE but TO LIVE. — VITTORIO ALFIERI.”)

Some context: Anyone who’s spent a goddamn second in the vicinity of a New York City political reporter has heard a rumor or twenty about the famously liberal de Blasios. And, well, a sex tape would hardly be the most salacious rumor ever told about the mayor’s marriage.

So: Did Vanity Fair scuttle a story about a Bill de Blasio sex tape? (Remember their infamous—and never published—profile of Gwenyth Paltrow’s GOOP?) Perhaps former Spy editor Graydon Carter was just messing around?

Via the Times:

Contacted on Tuesday, a representative for Vanity Fair said in an email, “That’s what you get for letting Kim Kardashian guest edit the cover lines.” The spokeswoman, Beth Kseniak, declined further comment.

Uhhhhhhhhhh.

A spokeswoman for Mr. de Blasio’s office, Rebecca Katz, emailed a statement from his wife, Chirlane McCray, offering an alternate reading: “Bill de Blasio Spandex Cape?” she wrote. “Great idea for Halloween next year!”

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Sadly, we’re pretty sure Vanity Fair is just trolling its readers. As you can see in the magazine’s U.K. edition, the magazine editors altered the text to read:

[HE]NRY
[PO]RTER
[S]EX
[T]APE!

(Henry Porter is the London editor of Vanity Fair. Why not Boris Johnson?)

None of this, of course, means that a sex tape depicting Bill de Blasio doesn’t exist. Maybe you’ve heard something about that. If so, get in touch.