Salvatore Perrone, a 65-year-old garment salesman from Staten Island, stands accused of executing three Brooklyn shopkeepers in 2012. In a trial tentatively scheduled for the fall, the defendant will represent himself. Perrone launches his defense just a month after medical experts declared him mentally fit for prosecution, barely, despite his repeated outbursts to declare that he murdered on behalf of a "Palestinian section of the CIA."

Perrone's victims were of Middle Eastern descent.

During court proceedings yesterday, Perrone presented a list of alibi witnesses featuring 49 variations of "John" and "Jane Doe." Luminaries including:

  • John Doe Calvin Klein Co.
  • Dr. John Doe Lutheran Hospital
  • An alleged girlfriend
  • John Doe Car Service

Perrone then demanded that prosecutors provide him with an email for "Nadia," yet another supportive "witness" living in "Russia."

"Give it to me!" Perrone shouted.

Of course, the judge ain't even tryna hear this nonsense.

"You're not happy with everything," Brooklyn Supreme Court Justice Alan Marrus told him at one point. "Have you considered that you decided to represent yourself and that you're not doing a very good job?" the judge asked. "You are being singularly ineffective in representing yourself. Do you understand that?"

Perrone snapped back to protest, loudly, the judge's "misrepresenting the meaning of 'not happy'."

Singularly ineffective, the judge said.