Look at this guy. His name is Eike Batista, and he used to be rich as hell, but now he's poor as hell due to white collar fraud, which makes it funny. Think you're broke? This guy's way worse: Bloomberg says he's a "negative billionaire," which just, wow.

Things used to be real swell for Batista, who amassed a fortune through insider trading and other lucrative con schemes before Brazilian authorities seized all of his assets:

Batista, whose fortune peaked at $35 billion in 2012 before his commodity and logistics empire collapsed, is $1.2 billion in the hole, according to the Bloomberg Billionaires Index, giving him the rare distinction of being a "negative billionaire."

"All he has left now is debt," said Marcelo Battisti, a former credit manager at Banco Itau who now heads his own consulting firm. "In normal conditions, becoming a negative billionaire is almost impossible, because most billionaires don't tend to take on a lot of debt. Do you think Bill Gates has a mortgage?"

Being a "negative billionaire" is probably sort of cool, right? Like. how did you even fuck this up so badly? Like, how bad must your credit score look right now? Like, there's no way he'll ever pay back even a very small part of that money, so he is now sort of living in a world where money means nothing. He is so broke that he is beyond broke—he lacks more money than anyone can even conceive of. On the other hand, all of his nice things got snatched back by the long, bronzed arm of the Brazilian law:

The judge also ordered the seizure of Batista's boat and airplanes, and demanded information on the contents of his bank accounts, according to a copy of the ruling obtained by Bloomberg News. The action expanded the seizure of Batista's assets after Souza went after his bank accounts in September, and froze at least $50 million he held in a fund.

Authorities showed up at Batista's Rio mansion this morning to execute Souza's order. Federal police posted a photo of Batista's Lamborghini being hauled off with a statement on its website about the operation.

The cops even took his phone.

Look at him. This is justice on Earth. Savor it.

This guy broke the law and deceived a lot of people through advanced monetary fuckery. Now he's in the hole deeper than the GDP of Samoa, and he can't even make a phone call to whine about it. Because they took his phone. That's how broke this guy is, this broke-ass man.

Photo: AP