Lady Gaga's latest dalliance in directing clocks in at seven minutes of dancing and grinding and Kanye West-style sacrificial bird-fallen-to-earth mythology, plus five minutes of rolling credits. Michael Jackson gets resuscitated. And Gandhi, too!

The video premiered on—you guessed it—Dateline. What? Okay. It is for her song "G.U.Y." from her record ARTPOP and not one, but several Real Housewives of Beverly Hills make cameos as Gaga's wicked henchman, as well as her backing band. They seem subdued—and confused.

The most telling detail might be that Andy Cohen is the Sun God, Ra, looking down beatifically upon his many, many minions. The rolling credits are actually soothing, like a cool tonic to the eyeballs. Since it was posted online last night, it has already amassed over 2 million views, a fact that shall be presented without comment.