Fuck Expedia. A friendly Canadian man named Jordan Axani has a great deal for offer on Reddit right now: If your name is Elizabeth Gallagher, you can fly around the world with him for free!

You see, Jordan used to have a girlfriend named Elizabeth "Liz" Gallagher. They were happy. She was a vegan baker. They booked an adventurous Christmastime vacation: NYC to Milan to Prague to Paris to Bangkok to New Delhi and back to Toronto. But then they broke up. She wasn't going to go on the trip with him anymore. And it was too much money/trouble to cancel her ticket or change the name on it.

So, Jordan went to Reddit to crowdsource another Elizabeth Gallagher to travel with him. Obviously. He seems like he might be an okay travel companion. He only has some parameters for traveling with him:

Some ground rules:

  • I am not looking for anything in return. I am not looking for companionship, romance, drugs, a trade, or to take selfies with you in front the Christmas Market in Prague. If you feel compelled to toss me a couple hundred bucks, great. Really the only thing I ask for is that you enjoy this trip and that it bring you happiness.
  • We can travel together and see some cool stuff - or not. I'm easy and have no problem with someone taking the tickets and doing their own thing (see ya on the plane!). Embracing the spontaneity of life is more my thing, though, so if you want to travel together (and are not an axe murder) I'm likely game.
  • This is for the flights only. In the wake of the breakup I have deferred all further planning for the trip. No hotels, trains or anything have been booked. You're on your own, bucko. Having said that, I will buy the first round of vino at JFK upon departure.

You know, he's not looking for anything in return, but if you wanna throw him a couple of hundred bucks. And he'll only buy the first round of vino. No such thing as a free trip around the world, toots! You're on your own, bucko, indeed! Unless...

Well, I can't help thinking this is a ploy for Jordan to get the attention of OG Elizabeth Gallagher. In an interview with Vice, he demurred when asked about the breakup, but said that Elizabeth 1.0 was "an incredible person and remains a great friend." Uh, so, why aren't you just going on the trip with her, Jordan?

Let's add this conundrum to the Unsolved Mysteries post, shall we?

[Image via Shutterstock]