Consider Matthew Pritchard, the shirtless 42-year-old man in the Instagram photo above. What might he be thinking? “I could use another Corona.” “I look great in these shades.” “Hours ago, I was emptying my willie onto the feet of world-renowned action star and martial artist Dolph Lundgren.”

All of the above, probably. “At Reno airport after that #gumballairlines flight,” referencing an Amsterdam-to-Las Vegas private jet on which Pritchard—again, 42 years old—allegedly got drunk, took Xanax, got naked, and pissed on Dolph.

The story is so good it almost reads like a publicity ploy from Pritchard, who starred on the stunt show Dirty Sanchez, MTV UK’s answer to Jackass. Pritchard told the Metro:

‘I took a Xanax, which is a sedative that knocks you out, to put me to sleep on the flight. I didn’t realise you’re not supposed to mix them with alcohol. I had a lot of alcohol and blacked out.’

‘I started running up and down the flight naked and proceeded to pee on Dolph Lundgren’s feet. I don’t know why I wasn’t arrested at the airport.’

Metro has photographic evidence of Pritchard’s piss romp, to quell any doubters.

And the top comment on a YouTube video titled “The Best of Matthew Pritchard” would seem to support the idea that Pritchard has little time to fuss over social niceties:

The least believable part of Pritchard’s account, then, is how he claims the dispute was resolved.

Matt has apologised and claims that Dolph has forgiven him, saying that he ‘shook his hand and told him not to worry about it.’

h/t Death and Taxes. Photo via pritchardsqyd/Instagram. Contact the author at andy@gawker.com.