No One Can Figure Out How a Dead Baby Bear Got Dumped in Central Park
In a scene straight out of Law & Order: Special Bears Unit, an early-morning dog-walker reportedly discovered an itty bitty bear cub with an "unspecified trauma to its body" in Central Park Monday.
For several hours, detectives with the Police Department's Animal Cruelty Investigation Squad pored over grass and bushes near the bustling central drive, searching for clues as they began piecing together a timeline of the bear's final hours. One officer said it appeared to have been dragged into the bushes.
Investigators currently have no idea where the bear came from—the Central Park Zoo claims it doesn't currently keep black bears and Central Park is surrounded by miles of city streets. [It is not, however, uncommon for New Yorkers to keep dangerous animals in their tiny apartments.]
The bear will reportedly be necropsied in Albany before a cause of death can be determined. The animal autopsy will likely be conducted by a dry, sarcastic, seen-it-all female medical examiner who discovers crucial DNA evidence just in time for trial around the 45-minute mark.