The most patient cops in the world released the audio of their interviews from the drunken Palin family throw down last month, and the racial slurs and crying, drunk Bristol Palin aren't even the weirdest parts.

When officers questioned Bristol, she told them an "old lady" pushed her sister, setting off the whole melee.

I walk back up. "Did you push my sister?" And some guy gets up, pushes me down on the grass, drags me across the grass. "You slut, you fucking cunt, you fucking this." I get back up, he pushes me down on the grass again. And I have my five year old, they took my $300 sunglasses, they took my fucking shoes, and I'm just left here?

...

A guy comes out of nowhere and pushes me on the ground, takes me by my feet, in my dress—in my thong dress, in front of everybody—"Come on you cunt, get the fuck out of here, come on you slut, get the fuck out of here." I don't know this guy.

When the police officers went to photograph Bristol to document injuries, she reportedly told them, "I don't want my face in a picture right now... There's nothing on my face except for beer and makeup."

Sarah Palin mostly just waited for her wasted family in the limo, but her voice can be heard in the background of some of the recordings, advising one of her drunk daughters to "stop cussing" at one point.

On another recording, an officer interviews Korey Klingenmeyer, the owner of the house accused of assaulting Palin.

Klingenmeyer, who claims Palin hit him in the face multiple times before he pushed her away, started his interview by telling the cop, "I want to talk to the head nigger in charge."

"First off, Korey, I understand you're pissed off," the cop said.

"I don't need this. I'm here to have a good time, and this fucking drama Palin show shows up, and now we've got a shit show," Klingenmeyer said, slurring his words. "Now we're gonna fucking take the legal fucking side, because I know what's coming tomorrow morning. And you and I both know what I'm talking about."

None of the parties involved ended up pressing charges.