It seems like it couldn't miss: a pointed Christmastime yarn about a prickly, single preacher and a beloved candle. Yet one paper called it "stiff and hollow," and another said it "takes the easy way out in a cheesy climax." How could this big-studio flick get the shaft, when it's linked to a household name like Santorum?

Alas, the Republican former Pennsylvania senator's spotless reputation appears unable to save The Christmas Candle, the holiday behemoth that his "faith-based film studio," EchoLight, expected to deeply penetrate markets this holiday season. Instead, it hit theaters last week and went flaccid, grossing less than $2 million in two weeks, according to the Guardian.

But even if moviegoers aren't ready for Santorum's Dickens-style tale of a taper—or his studio's other big package project, directed by Corbin Bernsen!—don't expect the faithful politico to get frothy over his failures. "The devil for a long, long time has had these screens for his playground," he's said of the biz. "And he isn't gonna give it up easily."

Stay strong, Rick. We're all praying he gives it up to you eventually.