10000-bc

Can 'Horton' Get A Woop Woop?

Seth Abramovitch · 03/24/08 11:25AM

You wake up cold and confused, naked except for the half-singed bonnet on your head, and surrounded by hundreds of empty Peeps boxes and decapitated chocolate bunnies. Damn it: You've surrendered to another Easter weekend bender. Enjoy the last pulses of glucose shooting through your veins as you peruse the box office numbers:

Clan Of The Cavemodels

Seth Abramovitch · 03/10/08 11:00AM

As you recover from one of the more jarring daylight savings shifts in recent memory, try as hard as you can to avoid the stares of co-workers who can't help but notice you sporting your stubbornly punctual morning priapism. Perhaps the box office numbers will ease the transition:

When CGI Shlock Ruled The Cineplex: '10,000 B.C.' Opens To An Ice-Agey Reception

Seth Abramovitch · 03/07/08 01:50PM

Poised to overtake Semi-Pro as the #1 comedy in America this weekend, 10,000 B.C., Roland Emmerich's hilariously bombastic homage to the dawn of CGI-man, officially opens today. Along the way, it has inspired film critics to some of their best movie-panning in recent memory, with the NY Times's A.O. Scott having dubbed this tale of a "tribe of snuffleupagus hunters" a "sublimely dunderheaded excursion into human prehistory." Here's a sampling of some of the caveman-themed headlines that contributed to its 9% Tomato-Meter score: