Near the end of 2013, country music critic Grady Smith came to the depressing realization that the most popular songs in the genre that year were all basically the same song.

U2 frontman Bono, who suffered some gruesome injuries last November in a high-speed cycling accident while disguised as a hasidic Jew, kicked off 2015 with some news that will be extremely sad to you if you are Bono: Bono's broken hand and arm may not be able to play Bono's guitar ever again.

This dumb year full of racist cops, Ebola, boring pop music, and subway condoms that went untouched for weeks is finally almost over. Hooray! An arbitrary temporal demarcation to provide the illusion that the worst is behind us! But before it does, here's a look back at what you thought was funny in 2014: People yelling "fuck her right in the pussy!" on live TV.

In 1776, the Phi Beta Kappa society was founded at the College of William and Mary for men in the "pursuit of liberal education and intellectual fellowship." Over the course of the next two centuries, Greek letter societies proliferated across the U.S. and morphed into the all-male butt-chugging clubs we know as fraternities today. This year in particular was big for frats, in that they were clearly identified as the primary arena for rape to take place on campus.

An enormous fake clam, apparently unmoored from a playground nearby, is floating down the Mississippi river near St. Paul. KTSP is live on the scene. As 2013 was #YearoftheDeer, is 2014 the #YearoftheClam? Only time will tell. (It will tell: yes.)

Remember this one for the 2024 slideshows: a new Beyoncé shirt by Beyoncé that features the "surfboard" meme and the surfing emoji.

New Year's resolutions are pretty much wish lists for lazy people. This might be why I love making them. The promise of a new beginning that will completely right all the wrongs of the previous year? Yes, please! Pass the pen and paper. Who's to say this isn't the year where I'll finally lose that weight, run that marathon, and get those finances under control?

On this New Year's Day in America, 2014, the nation's typists ("thought leaders") are required to use their long-dormant psychic abilities to designate the next 12 months as the Year of Something or Other, whether that be "accidental mass suicide" or "wearable automobiles" or "raccoon-sized talking spiders." Such predictions will generally be wrong, yet there is also the remote possibility that the simple act of making a prediction will cause it to happen, no matter how ridiculous or vile.

Happy new year! Now that 2013 is out of the way, it's time to get cracking on deciding the what next year is. The Year of the Winter Olympics? The Year of World Peace? Or maybe one of these 56 other options, predicted by writers all over?

[Freedom fighters in the city square begin the protest that changed the world forever.]

Everyone's favorite failed politician might attempt a comeback next year. In an interview with the constantly confused Sean Hannity, Sarah Palin said she was considering a run against Alaskan Senator Mark Begich, a Democrat, in the 2014 election.

As she closes in on a possible presidential run, gleefully ignorant Tea Party queen Michele Bachmann says she isn't doing this for self-aggrandizement. She is doing this to save America, in one presidential term or less: