We Know How She Feels. We must bid a sad farewell, ladies and gentleman, to the mastermind behind A Call to the Bullpen, Douglas Reinhardt. Today was his last day. As you all know, Doug's talent for pairing celebrity photos with hilarious headlines and vividly imagined scenarios from a slightly askew imagination made for some classic moments on Defamer. There were many, but we'll always have a place in our heart for this one. We wish him the best of luck, and invite you to browse through his archives by clicking here. [A Call To The Bullpen]

Click to viewBoomp3.com Popular TV doc Katherine Heigl nearly passed out on the red carpet after catching a whiff of her beloved pooch’s breath. Heigl knew her dog’s breath was going to be rather intense, but she obviously underestimated the strength of it. Heigl said, “Looks like we’ll have to up Ronaldo’s brushings to five times a day like his mommy.” Heigl also mentioned she will most likely introduce an intensive program similar to the program she introduced to break rocker husband Joshua Kelley of his bad single-man habits. Heigl added, “It took two weeks, but he learned to love sitting down while going pee.” [Photo Credit: Splash Pics] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Click to viewBoomp3.com Malibu quickly turned into Coolsville, as soon as the world’s number one cool guy John Cusack returned from a stint up in the great white north. One Malibu resident was excited about Cusack’s return to the sleepy beach city. The resident said, “It’s not that we lost our cool status. It’s just we weren’t as cool as we usually are. Now with Mr. Coolsack back in town, we’re about cool as a polar bear. Boosh!” [Photo Credit: X17] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Click to viewBoomp3.com 90210 & Degrassi: The Next Generation star Shenae Grimes was surprised by the attention she received after leaving the Blackberry Bold party on Thursday night. Stepping into a sea of flash bulbs, Grimes paused and said, “Really? All this for me? It’s flattering, but I assure there’s somebody more famous coming out of that party real soon.” A lone snapper stepped forward and explained that they’re actually Blackberry super fans and they just wanted to get a snapshot of the new phone for their respective tech blogs. Another added, “Yeah, we got this really cool shot of Heidi and Spencer licking a Blackberry Storm like an ice cream sandwich. So could you do something equally as wacky?” Grimes retrieved the phone from the gift bag and pretended to take a bite out of it while rubbing her stomach. [Photo Credit: Splash Pics] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Click to viewBoomp3.com A couple of fiendish film flashers got their Halloween jollies in a day early as they spooked spectacular sassy screen star Kate Hudson at popular celeb hangout, LAX. The fiends wore spooky burlap sacks over the faces and shouted scary phrases like “Boo!” and “John McCain won the election!” while jumping out in front of the Raising Helen star. [Photo Credit: WENN] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Click to viewBoomp3.com At the Rome Film Festival screening of teen bloodsucking epic Twilight, Kristen Stewart wondered if her co-star Robert Pattinson had bathed since wrapping production on the film in April of this year. Stewart politely asked if Pattinson had been keeping up with his hygiene and personal grooming. Pattinson explained that he has been taking a lot of sponge baths, but he wanted to stay in character for the sequel. Pattinson said, “I mean I’m playing a 107 year old teen. I’m going to be stinky.” [Photo Credit: Getty Images] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Click to viewBoomp3.com On the London set of Sherlock Holmes, free spirit Robert Downey Jr. did his best to cheer his director Guy Ritchie up. Partnering up with the effects and stunt departments, Downey crafted a rig that allowed him to fly around the set. A rather glum Ritchie perked up at the sight of Downey soaring majestically, as Downey shouted down, “Relax, Guy. I’m going to fly in this movie, too. People love it when I’m flyin’.” [Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Click to viewBoomp3.com West Hollywood conspiracy theorists have been working around the clock to find an answer to the age old question, "Was Natalie Portman picking out a wedgie or merely scratching her back?" Some believe that the positioning of Portman’s hand made it a quick back scratch. However, another theorist felt it was a wedgie, saying, “I was there and I got a wedgie, too. So I do believe a ghost haunts that particular shopping plaza. A ghost who torments and taunts those who need dry cleaning with vicious wedgies.” [Photo Credit: X17] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Click to viewBoomp3.com After enjoying a delicious meal at popular restaurant Bossa Nova, actress Kirsten Dunst was dealt a parking ticket by the cruel hand of fate. Dunst intitally shrugged it off fine, but upon further inspection became slightly miffed. There was a small note attached to the ticket that read: “Thanks a pantsful for putting Cameron Crowe in movie jail. I hope you can sleep at night." [Photo Credit: X17] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Click to viewBoomp3.com At the 12th annual Hollywood Film Festival awards, popular culture impresario Diablo Cody decided to celebrate Halloween a few days earlier, doing her best zombie walk down the red carpet. Cody described herself as a fresh zombie, just a couple of hours old, but also felt she could go another way with her outfit. Cody said, “It’s a tad Stepfordy too. Like if Pris from Blade Runner was somebody’s wife.” [Photo Credit: Getty Images] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Click to viewBoomp3.com Partially inspired by a recent late night viewing of the 1983 comedy Doctor Detroit and a string of doctor visits, hunky & quirky action hero Shia LaBeouf has started to practice medicine. While the Transformers star hasn’t visited a medical school, LaBeouf believes that he’s done enough research to perform simple house calls. LaBeouf said, “I’m not diagnosing major diseases, but if you got the sniffles or a headache, I’m the dude to call. My bubby has the best chicken soup recipe in the world. It’ll cure whatever ails you.” [Photo Credit: Splash Pics] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Click to viewBoomp3.com Environmentalist/female naturalist Jamie Lee Curtis brought back her beloved Uncle Jam character at a Halloween party/charity event over the weekend. Regarding her costume, Curtis said, “Given the current political situation, it just felt right that Uncle Jam came out of the closet and reminded people that an election is coming up very soon.” [Photo Credit: X17] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Click to viewBoomp3.com Strict parental unit Billy Ray Cyrus enforced a new rule for daughter Miley Cyrus and sort of boyfriend, hunky underwear model Justin Gatson. Father Cyrus based his new rule on the infamous "five seconds" rule and Gatson now has to stand at least five feet away from his daughter when out in public in an attempt to cut down on the creepy factor. Billy Ray said, “I got the idea this morning after I dropped a grape on the kitchen floor. I naturally started the countdown in my head as I bent down to pick it up. Now, if five seconds is all that separates me from harmful bacteria and disease, then five feet or so should keep things from getting creepy and uncomfortable and people getting the wrong idea. They’re not into putting labels on things.” [Photo Credit: X17] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Click to viewBoomp3.com Oscar favorite Anne Hathaway took to the produce of her local Whole Foods to recreate one of her favorite scenes from the movies, the shower dance from Flash Dance. The Rachel Getting Married star was perfectly in sync with the produce sprinkler system as she twirled around the fresh vegetable department. Hathaway’s impromptu dance number ended with a thunderous round of applause and a flurry of five and ten dollar bills. [Photo Credit: X17] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Click to viewBoomp3.com A London woman attempted to take advantage of a “hall pass” given to her by her husband and tried to put the moves on The Day The Earth Stood Still star Keanu Reeves. Reeves was rather high up on the woman’s list of male celebrities she’s allowed to sleep with with total immunity. The woman propositioned Reeves, but the actor politely declined despite being extremely flattered. [Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Click to viewBoomp3.com Eastern Promises director David Cronenberg disappointed a few fans at the Rom Film Festival on Friday afternoon. The group of film fanatics have been following Cronenberg’s career since Scanners, and were expecting more out of the Canadian legend. One fan said, “I thought he was going to be a lot weirder, but he seems like a normal guy.” Another fan added, “We knew we wouldn’t see any exploding heads or people turning into bugs, but maybe a lil’ fake blood spray?” [Photo Credit: Splash Pic] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Click to viewBoomp3.com After another down day on the stock market across the globe, Academy Award winner Charlize Theron set up a booth outside of the Roosevelt Hotel to hand out free hugs to anyone recently affected by the downslide. Theron said, “In times like these, sometimes a hug will help you get through the day. I could tell them to hang in there and that things will work out in the long run, but a hug I feel is just as good.” [Photo Credit: X17] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Click to viewBoomp3.com Sherlock Holmes star Robert Downey Jr and an extremely animated Jude Law took the swingin’ streets of London to help their boss, Guy Ritchie, wash that woman out of his hair with a night on the town. Downey Jr. said, “It’s not going to be a bender. It'll never be a bender, but we're going to have the most fun humanly possible before our 6 a.m. call time. Watch out, world, reformed Kabbalist on the loose!" [Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Click to viewBoomp3.com At the London Film Festival, W. star Josh Brolin was so excited to be in London that he wanted to shout it from the rooftops. However, Brolin opted to shout next to his co-stars Elizabeth Banks and Thandie Netwon. A raspy Brolin said, “Whooooaaaa! I love London and I love this movie!” [Photo Credit: Getty Images] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Click to viewBoomp3.com Pausing slightly during a whirlwind shopping expedition, Mickey Rourke and beloved dog Loki decided to experience Rome in all of its glory and splendor. "It’s a beautiful city," Rourke said. "Just ripe with culture and history; I mean it’s just a real work of art. Something to savoir and behold.” When asked for comment, Loki said she preferred the majesty of Venice and itss various canals. Loki added, “It’s easier to get away with certain things on the street.” [Photo Credit: INF Daily] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.