On tonight's Late Show, David Letterman welcomed Snooki—or Nicole Polizzi, if you're taking her seriously—on to read the night's Top 10 List, which was "Reasons to Buy the New Snooki Book." She looked shorter than normal. Watch inside.

Jersey Shore heffalump Snooki told the Daily News that she'd like to be called by her real name, Nicole, now that she's a published author. Here are some good reasons why that will never happen.

The greatest literary mind of our generation, Jersey Shore heffalump Snooki, releases her first novel A Shore Thing tomorrow. The highlights are just as typically horrible as you could possibly imagine.

We're sure that Jersey Shore's Snooki, the greatest literary mind of her generation, needs no help writing her upcoming novel A Shore Thing!, but still we charged you with penning the first page of her book. Your submissions were genius.