Gisele singlehandedly keeps a party alive by whispering sweet nothings. Britney's conservatorship is phasing out. Kelly Osbourne sees herself in a bikini and cries. John Oliver gets engaged. Monday gossip is impervious to seduction.

J.Lo's assistants aren't allowed significant others or vacations. Fred Armisen dumped Elisabeth Moss for a younger SNL cast member. Montana Fishburne explains the weird spots on her butt. Naomi Campbell cheats on her taxes. Thursday gossip rules with fear.

Tonight's episode of SNL was a bore until this: a hilarious, celebrity-centric spoof of CBS' Undercover Boss that featured Steve Jobs as a trash man (you know where this is going), Richard Branson, Martha Stewart and more. Video inside.

Today at Gawker.TV, Stephen Colbert has his Olympic interview with Bob Costas, Ewan McGregor insults George Stephanopoulos, Abby Elliott and her dad Chris Elliott, a girl redeems herself on a stair-chair, and a Dutch Oympian calls an NBC reporter stupid.

When Abby Elliott appeared on Dave's couch last night, Chris Elliott—long-time friend, recurring guest, and father to Abby—clearly had to make an appearance. He played the role of "Stage Dad" and watched from backstage with Ewan McGregor.

It seemed SNL was all about politics tonight, from the opening Fox News parody to a second Don't Ask, Don't Tell discussion in a View sketch. But it was Andy Samberg's obscenity-laden impersonation of Rahm Emanuel that stole the show.

Tonight's episode of SNL—hosted by Taylor Lautner—featured a sketch in which Lautner played a foreign exchange student who performed in his middle school's show choir. And, boy's got moves. Some faaaabulous moves, actually. We're just sayin'. *Snaps*

♦ The Times has the skinny on "Martin Eisenstadt," the supposed McCain consultant who leaked info to the press. (He's an aspiring filmmaker, not surprisingly.) In the meantime, MSNBC's retracted its story. [NYT, AP]
♦ You might be enjoying CW's Stylista, but the ratings thus far haven't been especially encouraging. [NYO]
♦ Two new cast members, Michaela Watkins and Abby Elliott, will join Saturday Night Live beginning this weekend. [NYT]
♦ Showtime is developing an hour-long show by Stan Lee about a gay superhero. [Variety]

Though MADtv was canceled today, elder sketch comedy statesman Saturday Night Live is still flying high — so high, in fact, that they've finally gotten around to addressing that whole "lack of women" thing! Season breakout Tina Fey wasn't actually a cast member this year (and won't be stopping by anymore), while utility player Amy Poehler is on Archibald-assisted leave, bound for Office-related parts unknown. So what two Los Angelenos has Lorne Michaels brought on to take some of the weight off Kristen Wiig and Casey Wilson?First, we have 21-year-old Abby Elliott (above left), daughter of Chris Elliott (let's hope her tenure goes over better than her dad's brief, mid-90's SNL stint). Abby may be familiar to fans of UCB's Midnight Show, but we discovered her at Defamer back in 2006! Here's Abby playing a quavery-voiced Kirsten Dunst in the impression that won our hearts: