On last night's Dance Moms, 21st century carnival barker/dance instructor Abby Lee Miller had her student Maddie perform "an old routine that was undefeated, that was absolutely beautiful": Helen Keller. Seriously, she had a child gracefully flit around the stage and do an aerial over a doll while working in some wild flailing and scrambling a la Keller via Patty Duke. This is interpretive dance at its least sensory.

Lifetime, the TV network that "celebrates, entertains, and supports women," has finally pushed its schadenfreude reality programming too far. After airing an extraordinarily child-sexualizing episode of Dance Moms once, the network pulled the episode from rotation and scrubbed it from the internet. The episode in question? "Topless Showgirls," in which a troop of 8- to 13-year-old girls simulate toplessness and perform a burlesque.