17-year-old Hawaii high school senior Ciara Cetraro is three weeks away from setting an insane record: she hasn't missed one day of school since kindergarten.

The New York Times analyzed the attendance records of our industrious Congressional representatives and learned that almost 20 members—including presidents of The Future Ron Paul and Michele Bachmann—missed 10 percent of the votes this year. But one Congressman outshone his peers in the art of absenteeism: time-traveling garden gnome Don Young of Alaska, who missed 16 percent of the votes.

Brady Harrington, who last November was elected to his second term as mayor of Sodaville, Oregon, isn't mayor anymore, because his city council peers were tired of him never showing up for meetings and replaced him. Available job alert!