We're all for academics sexin' up their work to sell, but this is a bit much. Lot's Daughters: Sex, Redemption, and Women's Quest for Authority, by Stanford's Robert Polhemus, "uses the 'disreputable Bible story of father-daughter incest' as a lens to understand family and gender relations through the centuries," quoth Publishers Weekly. "He casts a wide net over literature... to argue that the power dynamic between younger women and older men—in which daughters fall in love with their father's lives and older men are tempted by the intoxicating power and promise of youth'—is integral to our society." Oh, is it? Way to justify your Lolita complex, man. Middle-aged men can get away with anything.

Lee Bollinger—president of Columbia University and friend to the Bush administration? We were not aware such an oxymoronic existence was possible, but it seems Bollinger's little performance during the recent visit to the school of a certain Iranian dictator has his faculty all atwitter.

That's right, kids, if you study hard enough, you can end up working retail for American Apparel.