Now a few months after the birth of her child, Snooki showed up for an interview with Access Hollywood this afternoon where she chatted with the hosts about her crossover from "fist pumping to breast pumping." When Kit Hoover asked why people were surprised by the Jersey Shore star's taking to motherhood, Snooki responded flatly: "Because they're assholes." Which slipped past the 7 second delay, much to the hosts' dismay.

Is the Mariah Carey-Nicki Minaj back-and-forth a genuine feud or a ratings ploy? Neither, claim American Idol producers.

This may surprise you, but The Bachelor Pad—a show in which "eighteen former participants from The Bachelor and The Bachelorette come together under one roof competing for half a million dollars"—is quite trashy.

This morning on the Access Hollywood Live program, co-host Billy Bush, the human embodiment of a Teddy Ruxpin doll, said that Mila Kunis will not be going on her Marine Corps Ball date. Oh no!

Nancy O'Dell, a longtime co-anchor of Access Hollywood, will replace Entertainment Tonight co-anchor Mary Hart, who is retiring.

After months of speculation, Mariah Carey announced this morning that she is pregnant with Nick Cannon's child. She must be so pissed at Thandie Newton for letting the cat out of the bag last night.

Tonight, Access Hollywood was just a bit more ridiculous than usual when Maria Menounos admitted to "smiling and laughing" about Lindsay Lohan's drug problems, Menounos and Billy Bush joked about Lohan's mugshots, Bush talked about a possible lip job, and more!

If Access Hollywood's Monday broadcast was a Tragedy in Four Acts, tonight's show was the requisite epilogue. In dealing with the death of Brittany Murphy, Access not only upped its speculation about the cause, but also involved America. Yikes.

The folks at Access Hollywood spent the majority of tonight's episode covering the tragic, untimely death of actress Brittany Murphy. How did they deal with it? By airing segments so ridiculous, they're tragic on their own. Lights! Camera! Shameless!

• The e-reader war rages on: If you want to read the Post on your Kindle on the way to work, you're out of luck; you'll have to buy a Sony Reader. [NYT, AFP]
• Project Runway will return to NYC (and Lifetime) for its 7th season. [NYDN]
• Budget Travel isn't shutting down, contrary to the rumors awhile back. But it does have a new owner now that Newsweek has sold it to a financial firm. [AP]
• Job cuts at the Times in the last two days have claimed 18 people. [AP]
• American Idol creator Simon Fuller is launching an online talent show. [NYT]
• Diane Sawyer's GMA debut next week is going to be "low-key." [USAT]
• It looks like Fox News will close out 2009 with its highest ratings ever. [B&C]
• Ashton Kutcher is bringing The Beautiful Life back. On YouTube. [NYT]
• The 16th annual SAG Award nominations were announced today. [LAT]
• Nancy O'Dell is quitting Access Hollywood. Why? Because the show is getting too sensational and she's a "nice and classy girl." But you knew that. [People]

What's better than mocking Tiger Woods? Watching The Soup mock the reporters obsessed with the random, salacious details of the story! After the jump, watch what we think was the funniest part of tonight's episode. Also, a bonus: WENDY. WILLIAMS.

With just weeks to go until the debut of New Moon, the second installment of the Twilight series, Summit Entertainment, the film's distributor, is clearly playing with fire.

Well, it looks as though the economic downturn has found another media victim. A tipster tells us tonight that there's been a "completely unexpected bloodbath" at Access Hollywood.

Barbara Walters sending Twitter messages as she gets her hair shampooed is a sign of the Apocalypse. Run for the hills, kids — but make sure to get a frosty caffeinated beverage before you do!

Meet 16-year-old Taylor Lautner! The Twilight star almost lost his role in the sequel unless he could massively bulk up. Now, the media wants to slobber over those results. Did we mention he's 16?

Barack Obama, his wife Michelle, and his daughters Malia Ann and Sasha all sat down for an adorable interview with Access Hollywood. They are sitting in, perhaps, some sort of backlot western town set. Someone named Maria Menounos is being all Access Hollywood-y at them. But still, in the 30s seconds of interview available so far, we have to admit that we don't hate Barack Obama's kids. They're making fun of his ratty old clothes, all sitcom-like! This celeb media offensive seems to be paying off. Maybe Michelle should become a Best Week Ever talking head or something next? Hooray for no substance! Clip after the jump.

Larry Mendte, the first male host of Access Hollywood, is under investigation by the FBI for reading someone else's emails. If he did it, at least he probably saw some thrilling stuff: his alleged victim is Alycia Lane, his cop-slugging, bikini-posing former colleague at Philly's CBS TV station. You can see why he'd be tempted! Early indications are that Mendte's snooping could rank right up there with Insider host Pat O'Brien's sexy drunken voicemails in the annals of gossip show host scandals.

If there's one thing you can count on in a world that's wild at heart and weird on top, it's that the celebrity infotainment shows will come up with at least a handful of moments every week that'll make you groan, chuckle and hurl simultaneously. As always, we make Intrepid Defamer Videographer™ Molly McAleer watch all of these shows so you don't have to. Highlights/lowlights from last week's tabloid television shows include Sally Struthers being blasted by The Insider and TMZ accusing Katherine Heigl of "calling in the gays" when she invited Grey's co-star T.R. Knight over to her house. Enjoy!

There once was a land — a magical land — where a squarejawed titan named John Tesh and a leggy vixen named Mary Hart reigned supreme. Together, they blazed a pioneering trail in which the worlds of journalism and entertainment converged into 30 minutes of televised bliss each and every weeknight. But much like other creations that were born of the purest intentions (think: The Coreys, Britney Spears and Napster), copycat competitors soon entered the fray and everything quickly turned to shit.

Today, the state of celebrity infotainment is at a crossroads, a crossroads at which the likes of Harvey Levin, Billy Bush and Mark McGrath are honored as the Father, Son and Unholy Ghost of the genre. As new celeb-centric shows spring up with greater regularity than lesions on Paris Hilton's nether regions, we here at Defamer are proud to present a new weekly video feature that we are calling Dirt Sandwich. Culled together by Intrepid Defamer Videographer™ Molly McAleer, each episode will place an unforgiving spotlight on the week's lowest and highest moments (which, as you'll soon discover, are often one and the same). Enjoy!

Anyone else wondering why none of the major entertainment shows — Entertainment Tonight, Extra! or Access Hollywood — have touched the revelations of Tom Cruise's deep involvement with the Church of Scientology? Someone with backbone at the shows: send us the internal discussion, please.