It's not exactly news that a lot of house paint colors have wacky names. But they have apparently become even more wacky as paint companies become increasingly desperate to sell to a U.S. homeowner population so behind on their mortgage payments they're papering their walls with free subway newspapers.

Just as Vitaminwater might not actually be a magical elixir, "toning shoes" probably don't give you a tight ass and sculpted legs like the manufacturers tell you they do. What is this world coming to?