In a Monday, July 22, 2013 file photo, Tony Appleton, a town crier, announces the birth of the royal baby, outside St. Mary's Hospital exclusive Lindo Wing in London. Well-wishers waiting outside St. Mary's Hospital in London might have been forgiven for thinking Appleton had the royal seal of approval. Appleton is in fact a crier, but in Romford, a commuter town just east of London, and in Bury St. Edmunds, a market town in southeastern England, not Buckingham Palace. In an interview Wednesday, July 24, he acknowledged that he had no official royal role, but simply showed up in costume after getting a tipoff that the Duchess of Cambridge had given birth. Confused American journalists identified him as a bona fide mouthpiece for Buckingham Palace.(AP Photo/Lefteris Pitarakis, File)

British prime minister Gordon Brown has resigned. Conservative leader David Cameron will take his place.

Huzzah! America's Deadbeat Older Brother, the United Kingdom, is holding an election for Best Wizard! Or Prime Minister, or something. Who are the "Party Leaders" who might lead the UK? Is one of them Ringo? We know who Ringo is.

The big controversy in the UK currently involves-as you would guess-profanity charges against an animated dog. The famous (reportedly) Churchill dog is an ad icon that the English enjoy watching as he utters his unforgettable catch phrase "Oh, yes." Ha! Strangely, a ton of Brits swear that in his latest commercial, the dog actually says "Oh, yes, fuck." The company's public response has been to blow it all off like, "Are you 'avin a laugh?" But now it's a full-blown scandal! The clip in question is after the jump; can you hear it? To be honest, we can't understand British TV ads even when they involve humans speaking clearly.

SCANDAL in the UK as a Guardian media commentator revealed to the House of Lords that rival papers The Daily Mail and The Daily Telegraph have "have a pact not to write about each other's parent companies." Shockingly, none of this involves Rupert Murdoch in any way! The Daily Mail is England's anti-Europe, severely moralistic conservative paper that features unparalleled coverage of celebrity gossip and scantily-clad photos of maybe famous people. The Telegraph is the boring Tory version of same. The papers' owners are all presumably rich British people with titles. The pact is a disgrace to journalism itself and would surely never be necessary in the US, where no newspaper would ever shy away from covering the owners of a competitor if it weren't for the fact that their readers don't give a shit. [Guardian]

Rupert Murdoch's buddy Robert Thomson is at last coming over to be the publisher of the Wall Street Journal in a few weeks—and taking his old job as editor of the Times of London will be the paper's current business editor, the smoking-hot James Harding. Harding, a former FT-er, had worked at the paper for just 18 months and we're sure not everyone on staff who was passed over is totally pissed off about that.