Maine Senator Susan Collins, the dictionary definition of “Olde-Timey Moderate Republican,” is making headlines today for her announcement that she won’t vote for Donald Trump. Wow—give her a fucking medal, why don’t we?

It's come to my attention that many of our readers believe that if you give anything more than a modest sum of money to a poor person, that person will just go out and waste the money on impulse purchases. Allow me to point out that this is false.