In what is likely to be the last ever edition of Ad Hoc Altarcations, we see the Post's wedding section slipping ever closer towards gentrification. Over the course of five items, we are introduced to some consultants, some bankers, some Russians, and a couple who seemed honest until we learned of their address on the Upper West Side. Almost everyone met on the internet. Our winners, a secretary and a retired Marine now working in the police force, were chosen practically by default, and they represent a dying breed—one that we hope will repopulate the Post and restore the ecosystem once Gawker Weekend is off the beat.

The New York Post has once again rejected their mandate and chosen a bunch of well-groomed professionals for their weddings section, leaving us speechless and a little nostalgic for humbler days. If these trends keep up, Ad Hoc might be headed for the guillotine. That said, there are a few gems in today's batch of lovers—most notably, a dude named Albino who manages that delicious Peruvian place on 5th Avenue in Park Slope; also a couple who met on Nerve.com.

Each Monday, Intern Alexis uses a rigorous scale to rank the happy pair-bonds cemented in the Times wedding announcements. But surely, the Times can't contain all the nuptial bliss to be experienced in the metro area. Ergo, the Post's weddings section, where the couples require a more flexible scale that can take into consideration differences in, say, life experience, and body type.

Each Monday, Intern Alexis uses a rigorous scale to rank the happy pair-bonds cemented in the Times wedding announcements. But surely, the Times can't contain all the nuptial bliss to be experienced in the metro area. Ergo, the Post's weddings section, where the couples require a more flexible scale that can take into consideration differences in, say, life experience, and body type.

Each Monday, Intern Alexis uses a rigorous scale to rank the happy pair-bonds cemented in the Times wedding announcements. But surely, the Times can't contain all the nuptial bliss to be experienced in the metro area. Ergo, the Post's weddings section, where the couples require a more flexible scale that can take into consideration differences in, say, life experience, and body type.