Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions (max: 200 words) to caity@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions (max: 200 words) to caity.weaver@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

Susan A. Patton, who quickly became known as Princeton Mom after doling out unsolicited counsel to young Princeton women in an editorial in the University's daily newspaper, is getting her very own book deal. That's right, Simon & Schuster's Gallery Books is set to publish the world's most embarrassing mom's book. It's called SMARTEN UP! Words of Wisdom from the Princeton Mom.

Don't go to art school.

Thought Catalog presents, "25 Rules For Living From a (Semi-)Successful 26-Year-Old," by Ryan Holiday, a young flack who is "successful" because he wrote a book about lying to journalists on behalf of noted misogynist media whores. Sounds interesting.

Newsweek is for sale. Again! And what great timing: the CEO promises that Newsweek "will break-even in Q4 of this year." What reason could you possibly find not to buy?

Seeking a job? Who better to turn to for advice than mustachioed simpleton Thomas Friedman, reliable font of platitudinous excreta? Why, Thomas Friedman knows just who to talk to about this...

A long time ago, Bonnie Fuller was the editor of real (if vapid) celebrity rags like Star and Us Weekly. But now she's just the editor of a very pink website called HollywoodLife.com, and the author of bizarre celebrity conspiracy theory columns. And a simpleton pundit for the most gullible elements of the advertising industry!

Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions (max: 200 words) to caity@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

New York Magazine has found an anti-masturbation subreddit and alleges the existence of a new trend: Fapstinence. Men are voluntarily forgoing sexual self-abuse, for a variety of legitimate reasons!

Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions (max: 200 words) to caity@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

It's spring, and you want to get out into nature, and take deep breaths of the forest's cold sweet damp, and commune with the wildlife, and maybe snap a few pics or a Vine to remember the life-affirming majesty.

Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions (max: 200 words) to caity@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

In socialist Europe, where the hard work and financial innovation of bankers is not as appreciated as it is here, times are tough: bankers have just had their bonuses limited by law. How to deal with this new, slightly less opulent reality? An unintentionally hilarious listicle is here to help.

Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions (max: 200 words) to caity@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

There is something about achieving great financial success that seduces people into believing that they are life coaches. This problem seems particularly endemic to the tech millionaire set. You are not simply Some Fucking Guy Who Sold Your Internet Company For a Lot of Money; you are a lifestyle guru, with many important and penetrating insight about How to Live that must be shared with the common people.

Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions (max: 200 words) to caity@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions (max: 200 words) to caity@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

And you thought bringing home some bed bugs or a coat that smells like R. Kelly's sheets was your biggest thrift store concern. Turns out there are bigger demons at play, and those demons could be attaching themselves to your new garments—this confirmed by TV personality and minister Pat Robertson. He responded to this viewer's question:

Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions to caity@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."