Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler may be good at a lot of things, but knowing the lyrics to Aerosmith songs isn't one of them.

The city of Boston is like that childhood best friend you introduce to adult friends with repeated reassurances like, "Sometimes he flips over cars when he's drunk, but he's really great" and "Yes, he wears khakis, but he's incredibly liberal thinker" and "No, really, he talks funny, but just give him a chance." And then, you bring him to a cocktail party, he jumps onto a table to scream "Go Sawks!" and pukes in the punch bowl.

Steven Tyler and those other guys from Aerosmith made an appearance on The Today Show this morning to promote their new album Music From Another Dimension. Within the same three minutes, Tyler managed to forget which morning show he was actually on, shouting "Good morning, America!" and then addressed the crowd as "my little fucks" while still on-air. Today-as Al Roker noted more than once-was the first time that Aerosmith had ever appeared on a morning TV show.

Veteran stage-faller Steven Tyler continued to fail at "standing" today in Paraguay, where he was briefly hospitalized after "a nasty fall" in the shower. More like "Falling All the Time (Is Hard on the Knees, and Teeth)"!

David Brooks, the man infamous for throwing his daughter an elaborate bat mitzvah featuring performances by 50 Cent and Aerosmith, was convicted of insider trading and other crimes today. We hope, in some part, that party led to the verdict.

Aerosmith's singing succubus and possible American Idol judge Steven Tyler fell off the stage during the band's gig in Toronto yesterday. This slip comes a year after an on-stage topple broke his shoulder. Someone get this guy a chair!

You can't believe everything you read on the internet, even when you are the one saying it. Just a few days ago, Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry declared the band through after reading of Steven Tyler's break up plans online.

• Comcast and GE have reportedly agreed that Jeff Zucker will remain the CEO of NBC Universal as part of their proposed $30 billion joint venture. Well done, gentlemen. Good to see things get started on the right foot. [Reuters]
• In related news, Zucker's totally brilliant plan to move Jay Leno to 10pm is paying off beautifully. Leno sank to a brand new ratings low last night. [NYT]
• Anita Dunn, the White House communications director who started the administration's war with Fox News last month, is stepping down. [WP]
• Hey, it's not all bad news for Condé Nast. Self is doing pretty well. [WWD]
• The creators of Will & Grace are working on a Twitter-inspired show. [THR]
• The nominations for the 2010 People's Choice Awards were announced today, just in case you happen to be care about that sort of thing. [LAT]
• Aerosmith is looking for new lead singer, in case you're job-hunting. [LAT]
• George Lopez and Wanda Sykes' debuts this week scored solid ratings. [NYT]
• Simon Cowell made $75 million last year, earning him the top spot on Forbes' list of primetime's top-earning men. Ryan Seacrest exploded in tears when he heard he came in No. 3 with $38 million. Or so we'd like to think. [Forbes]

This is not how rock bands are supposed to die. Bands are supposed to go out in a blaze of charred hotel suites, blood feuds and drug overdoses. Instead, Aerosmith's end came in a blog entry.

Enormous-mouthed lead singer of seminal Boston rock band Aerosmith (sorry, Boston, the band), Steven Tyler, fell off a stage while performing a crazy twirly dance. His other daughter, Mia, released a PR statement to TMZ last night. This is classic:

[Aerosmith creaker Steven Tyler in New York yesterday; image via INF]

Click to viewBoomp3.com Reality TV star/budding actress Audrina Patridge made an offer that many men simply can’t refuse before heading off to a medical appointment in Century City. Patridge threw down a hefty gauntlet to all near by men and simply said, “We’re on the parking level and my appointment is on the sixth floor. So, we got five floors to make our own version of Aerosmith’s 'Love in the Elevator' for the building’s security guards. Come on, you know they’re bored, so let's give them a once in a lifetime moment here.” The future star of The Last House On Sorority Row began to sing the chorus of the popular hard rock hit in a breathy tone as the doors started slowly close before the pappers’ eyes. Nearly mimicking the legendary “Here’s Johnny” shot from The Shining, Patridge placed one half of her bug eyed sunglasses against the closing gap and asked, “Last chance to live it up while going down….5..4…3.” The door closed before Patridge could say the magical number. [Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.