A crime wave is spreading through rural areas in parts of central Africa. The stolen property? Penises.

In a letter yesterday, President Obama informed Congress that 40 troops, mostly Air Force logistics specialists, have been sent to Niger to establish a new drone base that will run surveillance in west Africa. The drones will support the French-led efforts against extremists in Mali, and is the latest maneuver in a steady US military build-up on the continent.

The results of a huge, seven-year study in rural South Africa are in, and god damn: by giving antiretroviral drugs daily to 100,000 people in Kwazulu-Natal, researchers were able to raise the entire region's life expectancy by more than a decade. From the LA Times:

The man who's bringing KFC to Ghana is a "plastics-mogul-turned-restaurateur." Sounds about right.

From a BBC One documentary series on wildlife in Africa comes the most incredible nature footage ever captured on film: A squirrel responding with anthropomorphic shock to the sight of a hungry leopard.

Has America's fleet of deadly Predator drones been infected by some sort of anti-imperialist poltergeist force? That seems to be the only logical conclusion from today's Washington Post story (the last in an excellent series on America's "Secret War") about the activities and happenings at the US drone base in Djibouti. There's this:

If you're looking to break into petty thievery, remember that it's always a good idea to case your mark. For instance, if you're mugging people, you don't want to run into a damn Ultimate Fighting bruiser. Likewise, if you're snatching cellphones in Uganda, you probably want to make sure that the person whose property you're after doesn't have one of the most horrifying illnesses in modern history:

"Africa is so beautiful! Everyone MUST visit at least one time in their life!" says Chester "Chet" Hanks "Haze," the rapping 22 year-old scion of an immensely wealthy A-list Hollywood movie star, in his inimitable declarative style. Here he is, pictured above, posing in a typical African dwelling amid local flora and fauna.

Used to be the King of Spain could slaughter as many elephants as he pleased and there wasn't a damn thing commoners could do or say about it.

If you have been on the internet in the last 48 hours (you have), you've probably heard something about "Kony 2012," a new campaign aimed at raising awareness of Ugandan guerilla leader and war criminal Joseph Kony. And if you're anything like me, you've probably avoided thinking about it too much. But the time has come to form an opinion. And we're here to help. Below, all the opinions it's possible to have about Joseph Kony and Invisible Children's campaign to stop him.

Strange murmurs from the world of reality television: Two "freelance facilitating producers" were apparently poisoned "after a failed shakedown attempt" in central Africa, Fox News reports. Veteran Amazing Race and Whale Wars producer Jeff Rice died; his body was found in Uganda. Though "details are sketchy," Fox News reports that the men were poisoned after "refusing to give in to the demands of local thugs." [Fox News, image via CBS]

Christians: where are they hiding these days? There are two billion of the cocksuckers floating around out there. But Richard Dawkins' constant haranguing at various cocktail parties has finally managed to run them out of Europe. From a Pew Center report:

Three months ago, new images of a skeletal Somali baby named Minhaj Gedi Farah shocked the world. When taken by the International Rescue Committee from Dadaab, the world's largest refugee camp and a severe famine zone, to a safer and better-equipped camp in neighboring Kenya, the seven-month-old weighed just 7 pounds. Minhaj's condition was so severe, he instantly became "the face of famine." Minhaj was given three blood transfusions and put on an intensive feeding regimen with Plumpynut, a fortified peanut paste, and now weighs a healthy 18 pounds and is crawling. Look at those chubby cheeks!

Libyan dictator-turned-fashion-forward fugitive Muammar Gaddafi died today after being wounded during today's fighting in his hometown of Sirte, say Libyan officials and Reuters. Gaddafi reportedly suffered wounds to both legs and was captured after being discovered in a hole. He reportedly begged a fighter not to shoot him.

President Obama is sending a total of 100 troops into central Africa to help a resistance movement fight the Lord's Resistance Army, a rebel group known for committing atrocities across the continent.

Two new studies prove that if HIV-negative people take anti-HIV medication they're substantially less likely to contract the virus that causes AIDS. Don't get too excited, gays: It's only proven for heteros.

What is the first thing that Eddie Murphy should do when he gets on stage to do a stand-up comedy routine? If you said "give a hearty 'thank-you' to the African tribes who originated the concept of The Dozens hundreds of years ago," well, your name is probably author and educator Elizabeth Evans! It's all right here in the press release of the day—and your mother is portly!

This is a video of a nine-year-old Tanzanian boy named Alex recapping the 1985 Arnold Schwarzenegger movie Commando (the video was produced by Joe Sabia for nonprofit Mama Hope's campaign "Stop the Pity. Unlock the Potential"). And we are so conflicted about it! Because, on the one hand, aaahhhhhhh this is so cute. And on the other hand, it's like, Alex, hello, have you even seen Predator, because it is one thousand times better than Commando. [via Boing Boing]

A proposed law in Malawi would ban, among other things, the public passing of gas. If farting is criminalized, only criminals will fart. And criminals have really stinky farts because of poor dietary habits. [via]

The turmoil in Tunisia can be traced to an unemployed man who set himself on fire last month in protest, and now more people across North Africa are doing the same. Today, two men set themselves on fire in Egypt.