Jet aborts takeoff after striking fish.

Flying, once a quirky luxury, has not completed its transition into an unavoidable descent to hell. The experience of flying on commercial airlines grows more excruciatingly painful by the day.

Falling asleep on a plane is easy enough. Falling asleep while in the middle of typing something on your laptop takes considerably more skill, which is why we could all learn something from this expert sleep typing guy.

If you're anything like me, your favorite movie of 2013 so far is "Amazing Helmet-Cam Video of Skydivers on One Plane When Another Plane Hits Them," followed by Olympus Has Fallen. How many planes must crash into one another triumphantly before we accept that air travelers should all be wearing parachutes?

The person Ryan Reynolds suffered a rather unusual indignity last weekend, according to Radar Online: a drunk fellow passenger on his Sunday evening flight from New York to New Orleans threw up on him. Reynolds' lovely wife Blake Lively is not believed to have been injured in the incident.

A large UPS cargo plane crashed early this morning in a field close to Birmingham, killing its pilot and co-pilot. The Airbus A300 was en route to the Birmingham-Shuttlesworth International Airport from Louisville, Kentucky, when it crashed around 6 a.m, just half a mile from the runway. The impact reportedly caused two explosions, with debris scattered in a wide range around the site. Local police report that no homes were affected by the crash.

Laguardia Airport is closed to incoming planes, after a Southwest flight from Nashville had a malfunction with its front landing gear while landing. No one was immediately reported injured, and passengers have begun to exit the plane through its emergency chutes.

Two flight attendants on the Asiana Airlines jet that crashed in San Francisco on Saturday were apparently ejected—but were found alive on the Tarmac after the accident, which the pilots now blame on the plane's auto-throttle.

Investigators scrutinizing the events leading up to Saturday's Asiana Airlines plane crash in San Francisco are examining the behavior of the pilots in the minutes leading up the crash—during which the Boeing 777 was flying at a dangerously low rate.

An Egyptair flight from Cairo to New York was redirected to the U.K. this morning after a passenger found a note in the plane's restroom that read "I'll set this plane on fire" and included a seat number.

A plane has crashed into a hangar at Chino Airport in San Bernardino County, California.

A man making “unusual statements” attempted to open an airplane door today during a flight from Alaska to Portland, Oregon. Passengers eventually subdued the man, who authorities said weighed 220 pounds, using shoelaces and seat-belt extensions

I don't do a lot of parachuting, generally, but this is not really how you're supposed to do it.

If you've ever wanted to hijack a plane—but been prevented by your crippling fear of flying—you can now do it from the ground! All you need is an Android phone, a radio transmitter, flight management software, and some basic hacking skills, and you can control an entire passenger jet from the comfort of your living room. Not that you, uh, should! But you could.

A Frenchman with the very French name of Philippe Jernnard LaRocelle was arrested Wednesday night after he attempted to impersonate a pilot. According to police, the 61-year-old boarded a Florida-bound US Airways flight dressed in an Air France pilot's uniform and successfully made his way into the plane's cockpit before being detained.

A study published yesterday in The New Zealand Medical Journal suggests that you—yes, you—should fart on airplanes. Congratulations.

If there is one national mystery we have not yet gotten to the bottom of yet, it is planes: What's up with them? They're so large, and yet they fly. It's a shady business. But Business Insider's Henry Blodget, the internet's greatest troll-savant and self-taught expert in anti-Semitism, has been on a few of them (specifically, two) lately, and he knows some things about planes.

The above photo comes to us from a tipster whose friend took off on a plane from Iceland yesterday and quickly ascended to hell in the skies.

An American Airlines flight bound for Miami was forced to conduct an emergency landing Saturday after a row of seats succumbed to the salsa rhythms of its heart and started slip-slidin' around the interior of the aircraft to a throbbing Latin beat.

Affluent Imagineer Mitt Romney has some exciting new proposals for the future of airplane design, according to some remarks he made to the L. A. Times at a fundraiser in Beverly Hills Saturday Night.