The whole "who would you rather have a beer with" method of president selection is, we know, so stupid — who cares how fun or cool the president is? — but, come on, imagine Mitt Romney on stage at the Apollo (Obama was there for a fundraiser), trying to pull off an Al Green line. Actually, just try to imagine Mitt Romney on stage at the Apollo, period. Right?

Day two of our celebration of cheese-tastic holiday songs is this little diddy made for the Scrooged soundtrack. If these two have so much love in their hearts, why isn't there a single shot of them together in this video?

Conan sidekick Max Weinberg turns 58 today. Actor Paul Sorvino is turning 70. Writer Christopher Hitchens is turning 60. Caroline Rhea is 45. Chef Bill Telepan is 43. Hedge fund manager Glenn Dubin turns 52. Times music critic Anthony Tommasini is turning 61. Kyle Howard, the TV actor and boyfriend of Lauren Conrad, is 31. Knicks star Quentin Richardson is 29. Al Green turns 63. And Rick Schroder, the actor whose career peaked when he played "Ricky" on Silver Spoons, is 39.