Of all of our stridently pansexual Scottish performers and perfumists, Alan Cumming is second to none. He nanced around and set heads a-scratching ten or so years ago as the emcee in Broadway's brilliant Cabaret revival, played a transvestite party promoter on Showtime's lady-on-lady business soap The L Word, and is now glamming it up in a new production of The Bacchae as, of course, Dionysus.
The star of Broadway's Cabaret and TV's The Good Wife, Scotsman Alan Cumming is also a campy gay icon.
Sorry ladies, but he's off the market. Recovering nicely from his early-1990s bout with heterosexuality, Alan Cumming married boyfriend Grant Shaffer outside London over the weekend. The couple wanted to do the deed in America, but could not because of our prejudicial laws against Broadway actors. Check out the guest list:
A reader alerted us to this commercial for Cumming: The Fragrance, the new cologne/perfume from the actor/gay icon/Spy Kids star. The "fragrance," according to the advertising, is "is all about Sex, Scotch, Cigars and Scotland." (That was the original tagline for Old Spice, by the way. OK, not really.)
"You want to make me walk up stairs?!" I harrumphed. "Are you kidding? What kind of snotty exclusive private club is this?" I trudged up the stairs anyway. Stairs with dirty carpet, industrial steel rails, and oddly, really cool bizarrely shaped chandeliers.
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· "Saturday afternoon in, what's it called? GAlleries in Upper CHElsea? Wandering Around The Chelsea Hinterlands? CHelsea Insider Art PEdestrian Territory? WeBo (West of Bottino?) Anyway, Linda Evangelista and shorter stylist-type (if he's a boyfriend, it'd be a pretty damning condemnation of Ed Burns) walking around the gallery ghetto, on 10th Ave. near 24th St. And the S. I. Newhouses (a whole posse of them) having their rings kissed at Gagosian, but in the foyer, not checking out the Jenny Saville paintings currently on view."
· Israeli Foreign Minister Shimon Peres, 79, was spotted dancing at Bungalow 8. "He was shaking it," said one onlooker. An Israeli consulate rep confirmed Peres was there, but said, "I can't verify whether [Peres] was shaking it or not." [Page Six]
· Cher, on severing her relationship with Michael Jackson: "I don't have a nice thing to say about him. He and I were friends when he was little. I watched him grow up and all that, but, you know, you dangle a baby over a balcony, that's it for me." [Page Six]
· Page Six alleges that esteemed thespian Colin Farrell was at Scores on Saturday. Colin would never...WHO IS SPREADING THESE VICIOUS RUMORS?! [Page Six]
· Anyone wishing to audition for another version of "The Bachelorette" in which "American Idol" judge Simon Cowell will help the "bachelorette" pick the winner, should email the casting agents at Billywonka@aol.com. They say the only want "Caucasian women" ages 26-32. [Page Six]
· Actor Alan Cumming, describing the difference between British and American humor "whilst illegally lighting up": "Yes, we're [puff] more [puff] vulgar. But [puff puff puff puff puff] I like that...and I'd better finish now before they [puffffffffffff] arrest me." [Cindy Adams]
· Martha Stewart, who has made a business out of every holiday, once told her viewers on April 1 that she planned to "send my tax returns to the calligrapher." Stewart also said she had to buy a new car because she couldn't change the clock for daylight savings. Shocked fans called immediately and offered to help her with her settings. [NY Daily News]
A spy at Rick Marin's book party for Cad: Confessions of a Toxic Bachelor, describes the scene:
· "Karen Duffy telling a friend she had just visited somewhere tropical and had learned a new move called 'worshipping the porcelain god.'"
· "Ileana Douglas pouting and insisting her friend Alan Cumming was going to be there, while Monica, often looking unhappy and ever more like a circus-freak, squeezed her way out early on."
· "A dangerously tanned Regis bobbing around everywhere, chasing the Klieg lights."
· "Cynthia Rowley looking particularly ropey and not at all swell, while Ilene in a fearsome glossy number that brought 'Cruella de Ville' to mind."
· "All the usual flacks, including of course your fave of the mo', Bridget Harrison."
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