Do you absolutely love playing chess but you are a giant bigger than a schoolhouse so every time you pick up a bishop or rook from a set designed for humans, it crumbles to dust in your hands? Perhaps you should consider purchasing frowning icon Kristen Stewart’s childhood home, which is ugly as sin and will surely give you nightmares, but does boast an oversized chess set in the backyard. I guess it depends how committed you are to playing a giant game of chess.

This weekend dragons scorched the earth, Alice fell even further down that money-lined rabbit hole, and a '10s comedy about the '80s did some pretty rad business.

It's true, he's wonderful. Plus: Everybody wants to go ask Alice, a kiddie flick surprises, an Iraq movie does not, and we talk a little bit about monkeys.

This weekend Alice beat Matt who beat Jay, but barely. Jay beat James but only because James is old. Marty and Leo keep beating each other. Yes, in that way.

How do you make Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland even weirder, and infinitely more awesome in the process? You add Lady Gaga into the mix, obviously. Check out this awesome "trailer" for Gaga in Wonderland, and prepare to be amazed.

The first ever film version of Alice In Wonderland was released in 1903. Recently restored by the BFI National Archive, the short silent film is very charming and features surprisingly good special effects.

While everyone in Hollywood was busy preparing for last night's celebrity prom, a 3D movie was quietly having the best March opening weekend ever. Sure it was on IMAX screens so every ticket cost $40, but it's still impressive.

In your substitute Friday media column: Christiane Amanpour eyes George Stephanopoulos' old chair, the Los Angeles Times wraps itself in Johnny Depp's handsome mug, the New York Times does teevee, and a Star is unborn.

Alice in Wonderland will make a lot of money. HBO wants to make a movie about the financial crisis, Deepak Choprah is pulling a Sarah Palin. Pet Sematary is back. This trade round-up not built on an Indian burial ground.

Maybe not forever, but at least for the foreseeable future. After Avatar and Alice In Wonderland it appears that directors have chosen to play with their new bag of gimmicks rather than, you know, bother with a compelling story.

Gold medal-winner Evan Lysacek seeks Dancing with the Stars fame. Gossip Girl Leighton Meester is in an indie drama, as is Lucy Liu. Zach Galifianakis will play an exorcist. The Trade Roundup is proud of all our Olympic athletes.

Penelope Cruz is in Pirates of the Carribean. (Sorry for the pun.) Susan Sarandon is typecast as a matriarch. Spider-Man will be in 3-D. Ellen DeGeneres is back. Alice In Wonderland angers Britons. Almost too much trade to roundup!

Avatar is finally dethroned, but Sam Worthington is on his way up. Do you want Wheel of Fortune in 3D? Henry Winkler has a new role, and Valentine's Day gets a pre-release sequel. Welcome to a very super Trade Roundup.

This week the Roundup covered the most indie film ever. "Spider-Man" is like the opposite of that, right? What if we told you that Marc Webb, director of Indie rom-com "(500) Days of Summer," will direct the new Spidey flick?

Some funny Spanish-talk Tumblr site pointed out that Johnny Depp in Tim Burton's upcoming film CGI Alice in CGI Wonderland looks like Madonna. My editor's wife thinks he looks like Elijah Wood. Both responses are correct! What do YOU see?

The new Alice in Wonderland trailer was released today, and it looks to be so dreamy, colorful, and imaginative, it's going to be hard to believe you're watching a movie and not frying on acid.

Disney sent representatives and stars to last month's Comic-Con, but apparently the company isn't content with collective marketing, because they're launching their own event, the D23 Expo.

Curiouser and curiouser! A teaser trailer for Tim Burton's Johnny Depp-as-Mad-Hatter Alice in Wonderland has been released at last. And it's... sigh... a bit disappointing. Just because it looks CGI'd and 3D'd to within an inch of its life.

You should really look at the New York Times' slideshow (and read the article) about a highly-acclaimed Italian theatre troupe that operates out of a prison. Good-looking Europeans convicts in drag and loving it! All we got was Oz. [NYT]

Small Wonder: Though this picture appears to show Johnny's Deppy's Willy Wonka after an intense meth bender (and affixed with a Top Model weave), it's actually a photo of Depp as the Mad Hatter in Tim Burton's upcoming Alice in Wonderland. Since the actor's role is rumored to be entirely motion-captured, we're assuming the look is just a test shot. No word yet on whether the mushrooms consumed by Depp's makeup artist made her grow bigger, get smaller, or simply made her totally fucking high. Click through for full-size. [ICYDK]