Allen "Mini-Madoff" Stanford, the crooked Texas financier charged with ripping investors off for billions, already had his head smashed in jail; now, he's being sent to detox to come down from his 3 mg/ day klonopin prescription. That's a lot.

Did you know that crooked financier and voodoo priest Allen Stanford used to run a bodybuilding gym? It's true! Didn't stop him from getting his ass whupped in jail. But there's a bright side.

When Allen Stanford said that he found prison life "oppressive," he wasn't kidding. The financier accused of operating a $7 billion Ponzi scheme has returned to his cell after a prison brawl last week left him with mild concussion, broken nose and two black eyes. [Reuters]

It seems like every day brings with it another apartment, boat, or car that the government is now auctioning off because its owner is either behind bars or about to head to prison any minute now. Today is no exception! The 112-foot yacht that belongs to accused fraudster "Sir" Allen Stanford is now up for sale. It's supposedly in excellent condition and features a new interior made of mahogany. Although if you do buy the yacht, keep in mind that you probably won't be able to use it to cruise to Antigua. That could get dangerous! [Luxist]

"Sir" Allen Stanford wasn't successful keeping his Ponzi scheme from imploding. And he wasn't very successful playing cards either. The Bellagio in Las Vegas has filed suit against Stanford, claiming he owes the hotel/casino $258,480 in unpaid gambling debts. [Guardian]

Financial con man Allen "Mini-Madoff" Stanford slit his own wrists to become "blood brothers" with an Antiguan banking regulator. Stanford's crooked chief financial officer is now doing farm work like some Peace Corps kid, for PR purposes. Everybody is bizarre!

Victims of Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme may have to wait 15 years before all of his assets are accounted for and re-distributed. Serving as the court-appointed receiver or trustee assigned to wind down a Ponzi scheme? That may be one of the most lucrative assignments around.

"Sir" Allen Stanford, the Texas financier accused of masterminding a $7 billion Ponzi scheme, has been behind bars for about a month now. And he's not happy. His lawyer has asked a judge to transfer him to a new prison because the facility he currently calls home doesn't have air conditioning and the atmosphere is "oppressive" and "intolerable." [NYP]

• Just in case you've missed the excitement on TV, Ben Bernanke appeared on Capitol Hill today to testify about Bank of America's acquisition of Merrill Lynch. Lawmakers grilled him, Bernanke played defense: quality entertainment as usual! [NYT, WSJ]
• Financier Allen Stanford appeared in court today and pleaded not guilty to charges he swindled investors out of $7 billion. [WSJ]
• The job market hasn't improved: The number of Americans filing jobless claims rose last week to the highest level in more than a month. [CNN]
• Good news! AIG is reducing its debt with the Fed by $25 billion. [NYT]
• Andrew Cuomo is recusing himself from the investigation into the hedge fund that handed his finances and is now tied to Cuomo's kickback query. [BN]

Cricket-loving billionaire Allen Stanford, dubbed "Mini-Madoff" by hypemongers like us after allegedly scamming $8 billion from investors in a Ponzi scheme, has finally been indicted. He surrendered to the Feds late yesterday. Of course, he is innocent.

Allen Stanford, the billionaire financier accused of orchestrating the second-largest Ponzi scheme in recent memory, was (finally) indicted on criminal charges on Thursday, and he surrendered to the FBI a few hours later. [NYT, WSJ]

Mini-Madoff Allen Stanford, charged with Ponzi scheming his investors out of $8 billion, denies everything. He's a patsy! And so nervous that he just says random words that he thinks may form a denial-like statement:

ABC News caught up with financier Allen Stanford, an interview that will be broadcast on World News with Charlie Gibson this evening. You can see part of the chat online, though: Watch along as Stanford weeps at his current predicament and then threatens to punch interviewer Brian Ross in the mouth for having the nerve to ask Stanford if he was operating a big Ponzi scheme. [ABC News]

When someone sees another person break the rules and get away with it, does that inspire them to commit wrongdoing themselves? When people like Allen Stanford or Bernie Madoff are arrested, does that encourage people to play nice? These were the sorts of questions that a group of researchers at the University of North Carolina and Duke set out to answer.

• Bernie Madoff will appear in court this morning to plead guilty to 11 counts. Then it wil be up to the judge to decide if he gets locked up immediately or is allowed him to remain free on bail pending sentencing. [DB]
• Meanwhile, the investigation into Madoff's Ponzi scheme is now focusing on the accounting firms that may have helped him carry out the scheme. [NYT]
• Base salaries on Wall Street may double as bonuses drop. [BN]
• Andrew Cuomo says Merrill Lynch misled Congress over the timing of its plans to award billions of dollars in bonuses last December. [NYT, WSJ]
• BofA is putting a private bank it inherited from Merrill up for sale. [Reuters]
• Texas billionaire Allen Stanford took the Fifth yesterday. [AP]
• Carl Icahn has abandoned his bid to take over Lionsgate. [BN]
• GE has lost its triple-A credit rating from Standard and Poor's. [DB]
• Foreclosure filings in the U.S. jumped 30% in February. [BN]

Chris Burden, the controversial performance artist, has become a high-profile victim of Ponzi schemer Allen Stanford. Stanford never delivered the artist's precious, artistic pile of gold bars.

Ooo, the SEC has finally released the good stuff on Stanford Financial, the mini-Madoff Ponzi scheme that made $8 billion disappear. Incredibly, the company's Southern Christian leaders were big hypocritical frauds! Jesus hated money-lenders:

• As part of the rescue plan currently under discussion in Washington, the government would end up with 40 percent of Citigroup, which isn't quite the same as nationalizing it, but is pretty darn close. [NYT]
• JPMorgan Chase cut its dividend to a nickel yesterday. [AP]
• John Thain spent six hours answering Andrew Cuomo's questions last week. But he'll make a return visit this week now that a judge has ruled Thain has to provide more detail on Merrill's controversial bonus payouts. [Reuters]
• AIG needs more government money. Feel free to laugh or cry about this. [DB]
• UBS may end up going to court as it tries to fight an order to disclose the names of its American clients suspected of offshore tax evasion. [NYT]
• Allen Stanford had ties to Joe Biden's brother and son, apparently. [WSJ]
• A bankrupt Lehman Brothers is spinning off its venture capital arm. [WSJ]
• Home prices in 20 U.S. cities declined an average of 18.5% in December. [BN]
• Federal chairman Ben Bernanke says the recession should end this year and 2010 "will be a year of recovery," if the banking system's stabilized. Reassuring words, provided you still believe anything Bernanke has to say. [WSJ]

• The government is in talks with Citigroup to raise its stake in the beleaguered bank to between 25 and 40 percent. [WSJ, DB]
• Federal regulators plan to review the financial condition of 20 banks this week as part of a round of "stress tests." [NYT, BN]
• Regulators have seized Allen Stanford's companies in Antigua and Barbuda; Stanford has also surrendered his passport to U.S. authorities. [Reuters]
• Shares in UBS have fallen to an all-time low as the bank continues to reel from allegations of tax fraud. [Reuters, DB]
• Even Dubai needs a bailout these days: The UAE said yesterday it will give the once-highflying emirate $10 billion. [WSJ]
• Steve Feinberg's Cerberus is closing down its Hong Kong office. [FT]
• Hedge funder Richard Perry is cutting fees to keep investors happy. [WSJ]
• The SEC is now in hot water over its handling of insider-trading accusations involving former executives at Lehman Brothers. [NYT]

Allen Stanford, the Texas billionaire fingered by the FBI this week for an $8 billion financial scam, tried to go underground. But now he's been caught! In Virginia! The land of lovers—of money: