Well, it happened. Glamour found someone even more special than our old pal Alyssa Shelasky to blog for them. And: it's a boy! Here is a sampling of his deep thots. "But I won't let the breakup get me down. I am an eternal optimist. If I've learned one thing teaching in South Central Los Angeles, it's that a positive attitude is priceless. As my mother always says, 'If one door closes, two will open.' Thanks, Mom! Am I a victim of some false romantic notion? It doesn't bode well that Hollywood can't even get happy endings right. And worst of all: Am I destined to look like Vince while she gets off looking like Jen? Where have all the happy endings gone? Is there such thing as a happy breakup?" Did he mention that he is a teacher? Oh, he did! Yes, he is an ENGLISH TEACHER. Bury the rag deep in your face, for now is the time for your tears.