On CNN this morning, former Ted Cruz communications director Amanda Carpenter and pro-Trump newspaper columnist Adriana Cohen were asked to discuss the two candidates’ ridiculous feud over their wives. As soon as Cohen began speaking, talk turned to...something else.

Joel Madden's new son hogged all the Twitter juice for himself; Sarah Lacy stood up a source; and Susan Orlean is not coming to your party. The Twitterati got dissed.

Sarah Lacy was severely inconvenienced by a visa snafu; Mark Glaser was dissed by a conference and a writer danced on Oasis' grave. The Twitterati were feeling huffy.

Amanda Carpenter provided a gendered response to the Ensign scandal; MC Hammer shamed a writer and Choire Sicha revealed Awl. For the Twitterati, it was a day to discuss secrets.

Whoops. The Twitter account we thought Jesse Watters was taunting us from is fake. We would have called Watters to confirm it was his, but he won't talk to us. We'll apologize in person soon.

Who knew New Yorker writers used Facebook enough to hate its new look, as Susan Orlean does? In other trivia, Tricia Romano got sauced, Olivier Knox developed a crush, and Jon Fine revealed his ignorance: