Laugh with Amanda Peet. Love with Amanda Peet. But if Amanda Peet gives you advice on something, you do the goddamn opposite.

Chandler's new show premiered last night where Monica's old-new show should have been, and it blew it out of the water. Also today: lots of pilot casting news including TV roles for movie people, an interesting idea for The Office's future, and a scintillating blind item.

On last night's Late Night, Jimmy Fallon challenged Amanda Peet to a boxing game on Microsoft's Kinect for XBox 360. Let's just say Amanda looked better playing in her satin boxing outfit than she actually played. Win by KO!

Celebrity robbery is a status symbol, but actress Amanda Peet isn't famous enough to fall victim to it, according to a juror who acquitted her accused robber yesterday: "We didn't really consider her a Nicole Kidman or anything like that."

Celebrities have descended on Central Park. In this weekend's #stalker sightings: Blythe Danner, Vince Vaughn, Amanda Peet. Elsewhere: Tinsley Mortimer, Owen Wilson, Mary-Louise Parker, Zach Braff, and Matthew Broderick.

She's divorcing Jesse and will raise the baby alone. Larry King is a swinger. Lindsay blames a tawdry lie on her dad, who blames Perez Hilton. Courtney Love says Gavin cheated on Gwen with her. Wednesday's gossip cometh.

Mary J. Blige turns 39 today. Amanda Peet is turning 38. Country music queen Naomi Judd is 64. Samantha Boardman Rosen, the socialite and wife of developer Aby Rosen, is turning 38. Grant Tinker, the former CEO of NBC and ex-husband of Mary Tyler Moore, is 85. Tom Dumont of No Doubt turns 42. Former New Jersey Net legend Darryl Dawkins is 53. And Darren Lynn Bousman, the guy you can thank for directing Saw II, Saw III, and Saw IV, is 31 today.

• There's both good and bad news for Mischa Barton. The bad: She's reportedly drinking again and was seen "knocking back shots and drinking margaritas" earlier this week. (As you may remember, that sort of behavior led Mischa to spend some time in the hospital this past summer.) The good news: She supposedly looked "healthy" and "in control" while doing it, so it should be a few months before she hits bottom again and is forced to make a return trip. [P6]
• Think a good thought for Madonna. Louis Vuitton has decided to drop Madge as the face of the brand and replace her with 25-year-old supermodel Lara Stone. [Sun]
• The last 24 hours of Tiger: Holly Sampson, the porn star who had been suspected of having a tryst with Tiger, confirmed the rumor yesterday; meanwhile, Hollywood madam Michelle Braun says Woods spent $60,000 on hookers between 2006 and 2007, was into the "college cutie, girls-next-door look," and was a fan of three-ways, too. Luckily for Tiger, the reports about his dozen or so mistresses (and all the kinky specifics) may not spell disaster for his marriage to Elin Nordegren. Several tabloids report that Woods has come clean to Elin about "all" of his misbehavior in recent days and she's planning to stay with him.

Four babies later, Klum continues to be unreasonably sexy; Lindsay Lohan had a "meltdown" after getting caught stealing champagne; Flavor Flav produces a Super Bowl ad. Come be blinded by the light of a thousand Monday gossips.

Roland Emmerich's "Apocalypse BUKKAKE" masterpiece, 2012, opened at the box office on Friday! For a movie where everyone already knows the ending—the world, it ends—it did really, really well. So did the sad movie about the sad girl.

• Lindsay Lohan may be into boys again, at least according to the Sun, since she supposedly spent the night with a male model who she'd been seen making out with the night before and later posted a picture of her new conquest on Twitter. Whether this is a make-Sam-jealous ploy or true love is hard to say, but rest assured her dad will probably weigh in on the matter by the end of the day. [Sun]
• A brazen jewelry thief busted into Amanda Peet's Tribeca loft on Wednesday and said, "What up, bitch? I live here" to Peet's assistant when she happened to walk in on the guy. He quickly fled, but let's hope she got out a "What up, mo fo?" before he was out of earshot. [P6]
• Jessica Simpson likes "spiritual," "artistic" and "intellectual" men because she "can bore out pretty easily." And now it's totally clear why her relationship with Tony Romo didn't work out. [Extra, People]
• CNN's Lou Dobbs says he's been receiving threatening phone calls and his house was shot at due to his views on immigration. But police don't have any any record that he's reported threats in the past and they think the shot was fired by a hunter. So, per usual, Dobbs is probably just full of crap. [P6]
• Michael Jackson's dad says his son is "worth more dead than when he was alive." The world already knew that was the way he felt, of course. But no one was expecting him to come right out and say it. [NYP]

Click through for more pics of some of the famous faces at the Fashion Week shows yesterday.

Model Maggie Rizer is turning 31 today. Dave Matthews is turning 42. Times book critic Michiko Kakutani is 54. Hot 97 host Angie Martinez is 37. Internet tycoon Lockhart Steele is 35. Indie film honcho Michael Barker is turning 55. Earl Graves, the founder of Black Enterprise, is turning 74. Author Judith Krantz is 81. Singer Joan Baez is 68. And Kate Middleton, who stands to become a princess if Prince William ever pops the question, turns 27 today. Weekend birthdays—including that of Jared Kushner—after the jump!

Radar reports that our favorite box office trailblazer, Josh Hartnett, has finally given up hope of nailing zingers on 30 Rock or appearing in a mildly successful movie and moved on to simpler pursuits: the London theater. In a role that will certainly pay homage to Tom Cruise’s former career as an actor, Hartnett will appear as Rain Man’s Charlie Babbit opposite a less-heartthrobby Brit filling Dustin Hoffman’s pigeon-toed shoes. Most interesting of all? Hartnett manages to say, “It has always been my intent to work on the London stage,” without laughing. But the bigger question remains (ahem, Katie Holmes): why do movie stars assume tackling the theater will be a breezy little side-job guaranteed to build acting cred? The track records of Julia Roberts, Denzel Washington, and David Schwimmer beg to differ, after the jump.

The Slug blog thinks it sees evidence of creeping Jordan McDeere-ism in fledgling network abomination The CW's hiring practices, throwing together this side-by-side-by-side to illustrate how current programming VP Gayle Hirsch and drama development VP Joanna Klein (or some combination thereof) resemble Studio 60's maverick NBS executive (who herself is supposedly based on ABC/NBC exec Jamie Tarses). Personally, we don't see it, even though we've always maintained that all brunette TV executives look alike (especially on Headshot Day), but we'll allow that we might be thrown off by both CW employees' impressive ability to muster more complex facial expressions in these liberally airbrushed photos than Amanda Peet has in five episodes' worth of appearances on her show.

• The reports from New Year's in Miami are predictable: Lohan hospitalized, Mischa Barton and Cisco Adler fight over Mr. Bongjangles, Vin Diesel acts hetero, and Nicole Richie awkwardly poses for "promotional purposes" with ex-fiancé DJ AM. What, exactly, were they promoting? The dangers of celebrity engagements? [Page Six]
• Enrique Iglesias spent New Year's entertaining the sons of Libyan dictator Moammar Khadafy, but the feds were too busy tapping your phone line to notice. [R&M]
• Cutbacks at the Times leads to the close of the nurse's office. Alas, no more Snoopy band-aids for Punch. [Page Six]
• After calling in Kabbalah ghostbusters to cleanse her "haunted" London home, Gwyneth Paltrow is diagnosed as officially retarded. [Scoop]
• Amanda Peet flips off a smiley fan in the East Village. Just like any native New Yorker would, really. [Lowdown]