• Robert Pattinson has been in NYC shooting his new movie, Remember Me, but he's been so overwhelmed by the out-of-control teenage fans who track his every move, he'd really like to return home to the U.K. [NYDN]
• Chris Brown's run-in with Rihanna isn't putting a damper on his social life: He was spotted "locking lips" with Amber Rose, Kanye West's ex, at Diddy's annual White Party this past weekend. Rose's career is picking up too: She's been signed by Ford Models. [NYDN, P6]
• Courtney Love supposedly trashed her room at the Inn on Irving Place when she stayed there a couple of weeks ago, leaving behind dirty needles, used feminine hygiene products, and a flooded floor. [P6]
• Today in Michael Jackson-related news: His memorial is scheduled for tomorrow and a gazillion fans are expected to show up; a battle over his will appears to be brewing; and Debbie Rowe flipped out when the paparazzi caught up with her outside a Chinese restaurant yesterday. [CBS, ABC, TMZ, TMZ]
• You may be hearing more from Levi Johnston, Bristol Palin's baby daddy. He's shopping a book and is in talks to appear in a "docudrama." [NYM]
• Jon Bon Jovi serenaded diners at the Blue Parrot, the Mexican spot in East Hampton that he co-owns. [P6, HuffPo]

Paris Hilton dumps her toolish boyfriend, Shia LaBeouf issues a statement to let everyone know he's not boning his mother, Victoria Beckham's nipples tour London, Jessica Alba is under investigation for vandalism, and Jeremy Piven preaches about mercury poisoning.

• It looks like it's over for Paris Hilton and boyfriend Doug Reinhardt. Please excuse us while we go get a big box of tissues; we really weren't mentally prepared for news this upsetting this morning. [People, Sun]
• A couple of weeks ago, it was Gwynnie Paltrow who was getting blamed for setting A-Rod up with Kate Hudson. Now real estate "superagent" Adam Modlin is taking credit for brokering the transaction. Go figure. [NYDN]
• Maybe Kanye West and Amber Rose didn't break up, after all. Or maybe they did break up, but they're spending a lot of time together anyway? It's a mystery, really. [P6]
• Coco Rocha is not going to be an intern at Vogue this summer. She's just spending a lot of time there so she can "learn more about the business." [WWD]

• Kanye West's girlfriend, Amber Rose, shows some skin (and crack) in the the new ad campaign for his Louis Vuitton line of sneakers. [NYM]
• Those empty storefronts in the far West Village? Some people seem to think it's all Marc Jacobs and Ralph Lauren's fault. [Villager]
• Speaking of Marc, the new Jacobs by Marc Jacobs collection features the work of artists with disabilities and benefits the arts. [Teen Vogue]
• Filene's Basement is now for sale, if you're interested. [Crain's]
• 7 For All Mankind opens its third NYC outpost tomorrow. [Denimology]
• The fashion business may be suffering here, but that's the case in North Korea: Retail outlets in Pyongyang have never been busier, or at least that's what the country's official news agency is reporting today. [Reuters]

Yves Saint Laurent sponsored the Metropolitan Opera's 125th Anniversary Gala at Lincoln Center on Sunday night. YSL creative director Stefano Pilati was on hand to welcome the likes of Brooke Shields (left), Claire Danes, Claudia Schiffer, Kanye West and Amber Rose, Parker Posey, Kim Heirston, Mia and Patrick Demarchelier, Diane Kruger and Joshua Jackson, Richard Meier, Jeremy Irons, Willem Dafoe, Ingrid Sischy, Emily Mortimer and Alessandro Nivola, Sally Singer, Woody Allen, Stefano Tonchi, James Levine, Renée Fleming, Peter Martins, Julianna Margulies and Keith Lieberthal, Zoe Saldana, Daphne Guinness, Julie Macklowe, Plácido and Marta Domingo, Ginnifer Goodwin, Becki Newton, Patricia Clarkson, Austin Scarlett, and Met mega-donor Mercedes Bass. [PMc, Wireimage, Style.com, VF, FWD]

• Is Madonna's relationship with Jesus Luz purely platonic? The two are "quite close and cuddly, but not exactly romantic," and Jesus was spotted at a Kabbalah service "playing around more with Rocco than paying attention to Madonna," which can't be a good sign. [E!]
• Did marrying Tom Cruise ruin Katie Holmes' chances of ever having a movie career? Is Tom's sister secretly handling his PR even though she pretends to just be his assistant? So many questions! [Fox 411, P6]
• Amy Winehouse's estranged husband Blake Fielder-Civil was released from jail yesterday. [The Sun]
• Martha Stewart's old friend Sam Waksal is now out of a halfway house and "ready to get back to work trying to find a cure for cancer." [NYDN]

• Bruce Wasserstein has been keeping busy. In between splitting up with his third wife and marrying his fourth, he found the time to have a baby with a recent Columbia Business School grad, with whom he's now sharing custody of a 10-month-old girl. [P6]
• The LAPD have launched an investigation into who leaked a confidential photo of a battered and bruised Rihanna to TMZ. [TMZ, E!]
• Whitney Port said this week that Olivia Palermo can be "very difficult to worth with," and that she occasionally wants to "slap her." Join the club. [AH]
• Madonna is reportedly planning to use the Vanity Fair Oscar party on Sunday to introduce Jesus Luz to the world as her new boyfriend. [OK!]
• Portia De Rossi is reportedly preparing to undergo IVF so she and Ellen DeGeneres can have a baby. [SFGate]