Usually, I lie. At a party, someone asks the question. It’s someone who hasn’t smelled the rancid decay of week-dead flesh or heard the rattle of fluid flooding lungs. I shake the ice in my glass, smile, and lie. When they say, “I bet you always get that question,” I roll my eyes and agree.

Marijuana is an odd drug! Sometimes when you're stoned you fall asleep in the middle of taking a bite of a cookie. And then sometimes you steal an ambulance from outside a house fire at 4 a.m. and drive across your neighbors' lawns.

We're glad that Congress has made progress on improving America's broken health care system, but let's not lose perspective. At least we don't need full-fledged ambulance reform, too!