“Wherever there is number, there is beauty,” wrote the Byzantine philospher Proclus Diadochus in the 5th century, unaware how very wrong he was. According to the average plane-riding American, mathematics is now nothing but the Satanical scripture of olive-skinned terrorists.

This morning I was disturbed to learn that a California-bound American Airlines flight was diverted back to London after several passengers and at least one flight attendant fell sick with a mysterious illness. Then I actually read the article and, frankly, it was horrifying.

Fighter jets scrambled on Monday to escort Air France Flight 22, an Airbus A-330 out of Charles De Gaulle Airport, to John F. Kennedy Airport, after anonymous threats were made against the flight.

The War on Christmas moved to a new battleground this week—a domestic American Airlines flight, where passengers and flight attendants alike alighted with Christmas cheer to overcome a dark force muddling its way down the aisle.

A Southwest Airlines flight collided with an American Airlines plane at LaGuardia this morning, clipping off a chunk of one of the Southwest plane's wings.

Passengers were evacuated from an American Airlines flight at New York's JFK airport Sunday morning as police investigate a bomb threat onboard.

An American Airlines flight from LAX to London was delayed for 17 hours after a passenger noticed an available WiFi network named "Al-Quida Free Terror Nettwork" and alerted the plane's crew.

An American Airlines flight came dangerously close to crashing into an unidentified drone over Florida earlier this year, the Wall Street Journal reports.

An American Airlines flight headed from San Francisco to JFK had to make an emergency landing in Kansas City yesterday after a camera disguised as a flashdrive was discovered taped to a wall inside a lavatory.

Caution: If you are using headphones, lower the volume before pressing play or RIP.

This is a weird one: a veteran American Airlines flight attendant accused by her colleagues of smuggling a pet rat onto an international flight in her underwear has filed a lawsuit against the airline, claiming the accusations have resulted increased customs screenings and symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.

An American Airlines flight from Los Angeles en route to JFK was forced to make an emergency landing in Kansas City after an unruly passenger was deemed a threat to the crew for refusing to stop singing Whitney Houston songs.

An American Airlines flight bound for Miami was forced to conduct an emergency landing Saturday after a row of seats succumbed to the salsa rhythms of its heart and started slip-slidin' around the interior of the aircraft to a throbbing Latin beat.

Or they're malingering strikers. Either way, American Airlines is canceling 300 flights this week due to pilots calling in sick. There's also been a sharp increase in flight crews filing maintenance paper work, which has caused further flight cancelations. It seems as though the pilots are striking because of an unfavorable deal their union, the Allied Pilots Association, reached with American Airlines management. The new deal calls for more flying hours while rejecting equity or pension contributions for the pilots. But union officials deny any sort of organized action.

A family that was trying to fly from New Jersey to Los Angeles claims they were kicked off an American Airlines flight because their 16-year-old son has Down syndrome.

A Gawker reader recounts a recent encounter with a rather unusual flight attendant aboard an American Airlines flight from Chicago to Madison, WI:

Thrown off a plane. Subject to a proposed boycott. And now this, a final humiliating insult to Alec Baldwin, for playing an iOS app when he shouldn't have: The Federal Aviation Administration says the actor's airline nemeses can use iPads in flight, even while prohibiting Baldwin from doing the same thing.

Alec Baldwin may not be running for office, but he may yet affect policy decisions, God help us. The comically volcanic actor is now explaining at length his ejection from an American Airlines flight, and throwing in his lot with the nerds trying to liberate gadgets from aviation regulations: He blames his removal, in part, on "questionable guidelines" governing devices like his iPhone.

Alec Baldwin was kicked off his American Airlines flight yesterday for playing an iPhone game, (or throwing a big baby temper tantrum, depending on who you ask). This had us wondering, which airlines are strictest about enforcing their dumb inflight electronics rules?

Reports from Twitter say that Alec Baldwin was kicked off an American Airlines flight to from LA just a few minutes ago. Details are sparse.