The most beautiful woman of the 1990s (in our humble opinion) is heading back into the acting game after a period of relative obscurity. Also today: Casting news from your favorite office, the return of Steve Sanders, and Glenn Close's Oscar chances.

Are the sharks out for Michele Bachmann, or what? Little miscues that offer a quick, innocent laugh at first become over-reported multiday scandals about how she's the stupidest person alive. She loves serial killers, what an idiot! And now one of Hollywood's prominent songwriters won't even let her use a song she likes, at events. The self-victimizing fundraising letters write themselves.

Welcome to another edition of Defamer Attractions, your regular guide to what's new, noteworthy and/or nightmarish this week at the movies. Today we hold our noses for the aromatic opening-weekend duel of Get Smart and The Love Guru, crack open the L.A. Film Festival catalog for a bit of a desperately needed counterprogramming, and handpick a few fine new DVD's for the agoraphobes among us. As always, our opinions are our own, but as long as they don't involve Manoj Night Shyamalan's box-office viability, they're also without peer.

When we posted earlier about the angry union thespians hassling junior doll enthusiasts at the American Girl store in midtown, we had no idea we could later provide not one, but two hard-hitting investigative video pieces from the scene. Above, thrill to our own house flava videographer Richard Blakeley, focusing adroitly on the terror of children confronted for the first time with the twin horrors of theater nerds and organized labor. After the jump, independent lensman Boss Tweed spends more time with energetic harshing on the dolls themselves, set to the soothing strains of Bananarama.