The Republican candidates have all gathered in Ames, Iowa tonight for a terrifying Fox News debate. Did they really need to do this on a night with so many wonderful NFL preseason games? Lord, do they ever hate America. Anyway, what will they babble about, and who will win, and what else? Let's explore!

Stephen Colbert's "Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow" Super PAC has released its first television ad in Iowa ahead of this weekend's Ames Straw Poll. Colbert has decided to endorse the non-attending Texas Gov. Rick Perry as a write-in, but spelled "Rick Parry." What else... the ad has some jokes and stuff in it? We don't know, just watch it and think whatever you think.

The Ames, Iowa Straw Poll, which some would consider the summer's best opportunity for middling Republican presidential campaigns to build momentum or fail completely, is only a few days away! So what mixture of carnival games and free food will the contenders use to trick voters into supporting them? Let's run down the list.

The Ames Straw Poll this Saturday will gauge what Iowa Republicans think of the field of GOP presidential candidates, but there's a twist planned this year! For the first time, organizers are allowing write-in votes for as-of-yet undeclared candidates, like hard-praying Texas Gov. Rick Perry. This won't change the fact the poll is a pretty meaningless exercise. Unless, that is, Perry megafan Stephen Colbert and his freshly funded Super PAC have anything to do with it, as he explained on tonight's Report.