Remember ousted Page Sixer Jared Paul Stern's book Stern Measures, the "ultimate, definitive, non-holds-barred-book on the business that is gossip" that was set to be published in Fall 2007? Well, unfortunately none of us will ever get to read Jared's insights into "the behind-the-scenes machinations of moguls, celebrities, politicians; publicists and secret sources; the inside dish on the sometimes dirty business"—Simon&Schuster imprint Touchstone Fireside has mutually agreed with Stern that everyone's better off without this book. "We just decided it was better this way," EVP and Publisher Mark Gompertz told us. "These things happen. He got busy with a lot of things, and so much time had elapsed since the events [that got him fired]. It was through no fault of anyone's." Also! "I'm sure at some point he'll have a really great book to write." Wow. Guess sometimes breaking up is pretty easy to do.