In your workmanlike Thursday media column: Megan McCarthy to the NYO, Ana Marie Cox and Nick Davies to The Guardian, a new EP at ABC News, Jon Meacham to Time, and ruthless morning news bookers.

Former Wonkette editor and Air America correspondent Ana Marie Cox says Gawker is a "soul-sucking, pleasureless attitude factory."

Biz Stone used an age-shortener to fit his birthday onto Twitter; Julia Allison tried doing math with her brain; and Ana Marie Cox attempted to flirt with Rahm Emanuel over basic cable. The Twitterati turned to tools of last resort.

In your explosive Thursday media column: Iceland's bad bet, the wienermobile is the future of journalism, more hard times at USA Today, Conde Nast would like to be the new Wonkette, and a scary scene at Fashion Week.

Gross itchy scabs Mark Halperin and John Heileman want to sell books by setting up Steve Schmidt and Sarah Palin in a cage match, argues Wonkette founding editor and Gawker Media alumna Ana Marie Cox on her Air America Radio blog.

What a wild few months for Office of Management and Budget stud-cum-nerd Peter Orszag! His lovechild is born! He's engaged to not-the-mama! And he's got the New York Times asking what he's going to do with his life!

Ayelet Waldman transferred her hubby lust to a new medium; a Twitter engineer got "sexy" in the office and Matt Cooper is "a terrible suck up." The Twitterati were all about overtones.

Justin Timberlake dispensed a lesson in celebrity (retarded) physics, Martha Stewart demonstrated how not to hide your Twitter ghostwriter and Ana Marie Cox is walking around in a haze and think about a 12-step program. The Twitterati bumbled.

Ana Marie Cox defended Joe Wilson, Atrios ached for Luke Russert and Kim Kardashian embraced "joyful thought." The Twitterati were ready 2 surprise U!

Ana Marie Cox thanked late director John Hughes for giving her a spunky redhead to imitate; Lockhart Steele has had it with other people getting pampered in restaurants; everyone was already drinking. The Twitterati were no ingrates.

Lately it seems like everyone on Twitter is dropping the ball. Too little chatter and too much "living" of "lives." So we ran a very scientific survey and discovered that, yes, basically everyone missed their numbers this month. The shamed:

New York's restaurant advice rubbed Make's editor the wrong way; Kurt Andersen's praise rubbed Alex Balk the wrong way; and Cablevision's insults rubbed Jeff Jarvis precisely as intended.

AT&T failed to give Adam Frucci a sense of childlike wonder about his iPhone; Jimmy Jane's mobile device proved more satisfying to Melissa Gira Grant and Ana Marie Cox damned an internet conference with faint praise.

Aw. Non-MJ-mourner and celebrity Twitterer Ana Marie Cox will not host The Rachel Maddow Show tonight, because MSNBC is devoting all its primetime programming to the still-classified 2004 CIA report into interrogations and detentions. Ha ha, just kidding.

Ana Marie Cox is guest-hosting for Rachel Maddow tonight! She is so psyched! Or she was, until a certain someone had to go and die unexpectedly yesterday.

Wailin Wong has had it with the homophobes on the Chicago Tribune website, which is just as well, since Ana Marie Cox has had it with people insisting she wear pants. The Twitterati, in short, said they wanted a revolution.

Well here's a sort of amazing story—-Fox News' Greta Van Susteren recently saved the life of Wonkette founding editor Ana Marie Cox on a train!

This year's WHCD was an intensely celebrity-packed affair; Air America's Ana Marie Cox was juicing every moment of the star-studded shindig for all it was worth.

OK, Rachel Maddow is officially the last person in the world allowed to joke about the dumbly-named Republican Teabagging parties, as the MSNBC host did last night, at great length.

A proud lot, journalists — and yet so often they drown their sorrows in PB&J martinis. Or the sweet liqueur of Twitter. Jason Pontin, Ana Marie Cox, Susan Orlean and others shared their secret shames: