Anderson Cooper isn't about to make a dancing fool of himself with Ellen DeGeneres, like those other TV news anchors, whom he helpfully names. Plus, public displays of ardor just aren't his thing.

• Guess John Mayer didn't buy Jennifer Aniston an engagement ring after all. It's now rumored Mayer ended the relationship right around the time Aniston got back from her world promotional tour for Marley & Me. [E!, Us]
• Tim Gunn supposedly has a "secret crush" on Anderson Cooper. He says he's been trying to set up a lunch date with the CNN anchor for more than a year now, but it hasn't happened. Yet! [OK!]
• Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams got married on Tuesday in Savannah. [Us]
• Breaking! Katie Holmes has long hair again! [DM]

CNN spent millions of dollars promoting Anderson Cooper. So it's no surprise the boyishly handsome anchor was recognized on a weekend jaunt to Savannah, Georgia. The question is what he was doing there.

Were Democratic attacks on Rush Limbaugh coordinated with the White House? Watch Paul Begala hilariously duck and dodge and dance around Anderson Cooper's many futile questions about the matter.

It's been a rough few weeks for CNN. Ratings have falling fast, especially for primetime programs hosted by Anderson Cooper and Campbell Brown, news that came to light the same day Brown rather bizarrely confessed her apartment had been invaded by "toxic mold" in recent months. To make matters worse, this past weekend the Daily News revealed that Jeffrey Toobin, CNN's very-much-married legal analyst, has been having an affair with the daughter of former colleague Jeff Greenfield, and may have even gotten her pregnant, too. So how is CNN CEO Jon Klein responding to the bad news?

CNN doesn't talk about Anderson Cooper's sexuality. The network and anchor have their reasons. Jane Velez-Mitchell at CNN's Headline News is taking a slightly more open approach.

Lunch with Anderson Cooper went for $7,500 at Bailey House's annual fundraiser last night, which raises money for homeless people with HIV and AIDS. "Like stocks and real estate, Cooper's market value has declined by more than 60 percent—the Cooper date sold for $21,000 in 2007." [NYM/Daily Intel, previously]

Simon Doonan, Anderson Cooper and Rachel Maddow hit the market in less than two hours! Act fast! Opportunities like this don't come around very often. Plus the money goes to a good cause, which should make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, independently of the fact you're going to actually sit down with Andy and watch him masticate. [Bailey House 21st Annual Auction]

It looks like Anderson Cooper messed with the wrong guy when he described Bronx Rep. Eliot Engel as "kind of pathetic" on CNN on Tuesday night. The congressman, who became the butt of Anderson's on-air joke after staking out an aisle seat more than 12 hours in advance of President Obama's address to Congress, now says Cooper is the one who is "really pathetic" for not sharing Engel's "enthusiasm for participating in such a historic and wonderful celebration of American democracy," and he says he's sorry that Cooper is "so jaded." Your turn, Andy! [NYDN]

[Submit your own Gawker Stalker sightings to stalker@gawker.com] Feb. 25 @ 12 pm Just saw wee Anderson heading into a bodega. Very Chelsea casual, though looking tired and a bit out of it.

AICN got breakdowns for ABC's pilot remake of V, about reptilian aliens who descend on L.A. pretending to be peaceful, before unhinging their jaws and swallowing us alive. (It's loosely based on the CAA story.)

To be fair, Anderson Cooper tonight asked the president some questions about serious topics, like the economy. Then the immaculately groomed CNN anchor turned his attention to Barack Obama's nails.

Heads up, Anderson Cooper fans: On February 26th, you'll have a chance to bid on lunch with the CNN anchor when Simon Doonan and Tim Gunn host the Bailey House's 21st annual auction at the Roseland Ballroom. It's lunch for three, we should point out—you get to bring a friend with you—which also keeps the Coop safe from being alone with an obsessive fan like, well, you. But you may need another person to help you foot the bill anyway. Last year's lunch with Andy went to two women for $4,500. [Bailey House]

On the Today show, Hoda and Kathie Lee took suggestions from Facebook friends. One was for Hoda to date Anderson Cooper. Awkward pause... "Interesting idea....," stifled laughter. They believe he is homosexual, you see.

• Why didn't Anderson Cooper and the "attractive Hispanic man" he flew to DC with sit next to each other on the flight? [Page Six, previously]
• Paul McCartney and girlfriend Nancy Shevell may be getting ready to marry now that Nancy's divorce has been finalized and Paul has gotten approval from daughter Stella. [NYP, NYDN]
• Someone hacked into Kanye West's MySpace and Gmail accounts. [P6]
• Prince Harry and girlfriend Chelsy Davy have split up. [People, Daily Mail]
• Execs from Amy Winehouse's record label have flown to St. Lucia to "drive some common sense" into her. Good luck! [The Sun]

Wow, the intoxication fatigue of the inauguration really wears reporters down to babbling idiots. Witness this wacky error reel from a single episode of Anderson Cooper's show yesterday! Amazing. Red Bull gives you wings, AC.

Anderson Cooper prefers to address questions about his sexuality with on-camera winks, nudges and the like. There's a reason the CNN anchor is not asked for more direct answers in formal interviews.

Kathy Griffin may have shouted at a heckler, on CNN, "I don't go to your job and knock the dicks out of your mouth," but it's just a "vulgarity" in the Times.

We hope your NYE was as joyous, wasted, and overstuffed as ours was, and your First Hangover of 2009—which felt like a tiny monkey putting up drywall inside our skull—has abated.

• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson got into yet another public spat while heading home to LA after spending New Year's in Miami. Lindsay eventually got so upset a flight attendant suggested LiLo disembark. [TMZ]
• George Soros reportedly spent New Year's partying with "two young brunettes" on Paul Allen's yacht, Octopus, off St. Barts. Now at least we know where son Alex gets it from. [P6]
• Queen Latifah was robbed of $10,000 worth of jewelry while on vacation in Trinidad and Tobago over Christmas. [Us]
• Kathy Griffin made a dick joke during CNN's live NYE broadcast with Anderson Cooper. The video is here, in case you care. [NYP]